So, I know it. You guys really, really hate it when I talk about movies. You really don’t want for me to mess with your entertainment or your “guilty pleasures.” I totally get that. I know why you hate it, and I don’t blame you. Because sometimes it’s really a bummer to look at the realities of what it means to strive for holiness. It’s tough to really examine what we look at and what we put in our hearts and minds.
And, I also know that many who read this will claim that watching a movie does nothing to our hearts and minds. That it doesn’t affect us in any way. That we watch it and we walk away and we forget about it forever. But, if you are a Christian and you tell yourself these things, you are letting your heart lie to you.( The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9) The truth is that everything we see is filed away in our minds, ready to replay at any time. You are sure to have some scene in your mind right now that you can recall with no trouble at all. We all do. We have many of them. And they do nothing to make us more Christ-like–in fact, they are a detriment to our spiritual growth.
So, I will preface this post by saying that I am writing this for Christians who are interested in growing in Christ, in dying to self and growing in wisdom and truth. If that’s not you, then this post doesn’t apply right now, although I pray it does sometime in the future.
I will also say that I don’t write this as someone who never watches what I shouldn’t. So, when you are tempted to feel that I am being holier-than-thou, on my spiritual high horse, and all of those other favorite you’re-a-hypocrite phrases, you will know that I’m admitting right up front that one reason I am so passionate about the idea of keeping our minds pure is because it is something that I, like you, struggle with.
The internet is already buzzing with the first photos of Christian Grey as he will appear in the upcoming movie 50 Shades of Grey, which is set to come out on Valentine’s Day. I know that soon many of my sisters in Christ will be posting photos and talking excitedly about going with their friends to see the movie.
But, what if we didn’t? What if we determined that we aren’t going to allow anyone into our relationship with our husbands? Not a fictional character in a book, not an actor on the screen? What if we decided that we will no longer allow our minds to invite a third person into our bedroom? What if we chose to close our hearts and minds to fantasies about other men (who don’t comfort us when we cry, who don’t faithfully support us, who don’t play with our children, who don’t offer advice, who didn’t pledge to love us until we die)? What if we gave this gift to our husbands: being fully present in the moment, completely focused on him and all that we love about him during intimate moments?
What if we decided our husbands and our love for them mattered more than a girl’s night out and 50 Shades of Grey?
And, even more, what if we admitted that watching this movie would be a detriment to our growth as Christians? What if we finally quit worrying about being seen as prudes or as out of touch, and we showed the lost world, in just one small way, that Christianity really does make us different? And, it’s not such a bad thing?
Now is the time to decide that we will not watch this movie. Determine this now, in your heart, and pray that God will give you the courage to tell your Christian friends that you can’t watch the movie, for the sake of your husband and your desire to live in holiness.
We can do this, sisters. Let everyone think what they will about it. We can choose to do what pleases God. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8
I don’t even know what the movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, is all about. I was not allowed to go to the movies as a child and that teaching has stuck. If something offensive, such as someone pretending to drink alcohol, came on the TV, we were to change the channel, and that was before we had the remote control. This may seem strict and overbearing to some but if we’re not taught as a child when are we going to learn: after we think we “know it all,” or after we think that we can watch this and it will do us no harm?” Things we do only “on occasion” can become an obsession, taking over our thoughts and actions. David looked and REALLY got into trouble (his looking ended up costing a man his life) but, later, he said “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.” (Psalm 101.3) It does matter what we see, what we entertain our eyes and thoughts with, and if it’s the wrong things the devil will use it, if we’re not extremely careful, to tempt us to sin and sin is NOT worth the price we’ll have to pay if we leave that sin unforgiven.
I am so glad you said what has been in my heart for many years. I am glad that other women in their 20s and 30s feel this way. I’m usually the one that stands out or gets left out, and sometimes that is hard, but I am glad to know that there are others, even when I don’t see them 🙂
I’m with you! Proverbs 4:23…we need to guard our hearts and set our mind on things above, not on things below. I used to read mainstream romances but can no longer stomach them.
Thank you for speaking the Truth in love!
Kerry
Melissa, regardless of some headbutting in the past, we are gonna see eye to eye, I hope on this whole topic. (forgetting children’s fare for now) If it would be sin for you (or me) to perform it is sin for you (and me) to consume. Period. Unless paying other to sin can be defined as loving them as yourself. It’s simple, it’s biblical and universally binding on every conscience for all time. Do not be shocked if the libertine goon squad makes another showing here.
Have you read the books?
Do you even have the slightest clue about what you are so vehemently saying goes against God’s word?
I have read the books.
I was saved in Grade 3 at Halloween because a church planter used a Jack-o-lantern to share The Message of Salvation with me, a Lost Child from A Very Lost and Abusive Family….
I am a strong Christian with very strong morals.
I have never been drunk, smoked even a single puff of a cigarette, or tried drugs of any kind.
I’ve never gambled.
I was baptized when I was in Jr High.
The first money I ever made, a dollar, I tithed on….& I have given no less than 10% of every cent that followed, often times much much more….
I was a virgin when I got married at 19.
I stayed in an abusive marriage for 17 years hoping my love, prayers, & support would save my back-slidden Christian husband. I knew the marriage needed to end, because it was abusive the first month in….
I graduated with a 4.0 from University with a BEd. I received a gold medal & was the top of the entire faculty of Education the year I graduated.
I was a teacher at a Christian private school where I got to talk about Christ & teach from a Christian perspective every minute of the day….
I was a church planter with NAMB for many years….
Recently when my grandma passed away, I used 100% of my final inheritance cheque to start my own Charity – Mariposa Ministries….
My charity supports numerous local charities….I daily work to bless those in my own community who are re-building their lives….the homeless, low income people, those overcoming addictions, abuse & mental health struggles etc….
I live on disability payments. My budget is tight & I could have used that money on myself but God asked me to give it ALL to Him & I did!
I tell you all this to paint a picture of my morals & my own personal walk with The Lord….
50 Shades of Grey, is in my opinion, a beautiful redemptive love story.
I read all three books.
I didn’t tell 99% of my “Christian” friends that I was reading them or that I have read them….
I have been able to have countless conversations with strangers & non-Christians on the bus, the train, the library, at Bunco etc about it.
Is there some very explicit content – yes
Are there sections of very explicit sex scenes – yes
If you struggle with these areas of sin or temptation in your own personal walk with The Lord should you avoid these books or this movie at all costs….YES!!!!
Do you have the right to tell others how to live or judge them by their choices – NO!!!!
Unless you enjoy wearing a
Pharisee Nametag.
Jesus, the perfect, sinless SON OF GOD
Spent time with the worst of society most moments of most days
He didn’t avoid controversial topics, places or people….
He encouraged prostitutes
He ate with sinners
He entertained The Lost
The Pharisees had All Sorts of things to say about what HE did, said & where He went….
HE
WAS/IS
PERFECT
&
BLAMELESS!!!!
I choose to imitate Christ.
I worry about my own walk with Christ.
I worry about pointing The Lost, Hurting & Hopeless toward Christ’s Redemptive Love, Forgiveness & Grace!!!!
I feel like that’s MY CALLING!!!!
Maybe it’s not Your Calling.
But what right do you have to say what GOD can/will use to point others to Christ & Set them free?
Read The Bible.
ALL of it!!!!
There’s sex, rape, murder, debauchery etc
Sometimes even more gruesome than the popular culture books & movies that are being offered up to the masses….just saying!
I think that too often Christians are “Soooo Heavenly Focused that they’re NO EARTHLY GOOD!!!!”
Examine your own log.
Stop worrying about the sawdust in others’ eyes….
AMEN!!!!
Dani, we are also called to exhort one another and this was clearly stated to be directed at Christians, like myself, interested in growing in holiness. This was not a condemnation, but a well written and thought-provoking exhortation, which is also what we are “called” to. I felt compelled to reply as I read your long explanation of who you are and why you’re a better, less judgmental Christian. You seem to say you have grown beyond exhorting others and are truly able to minister, but I felt your words seem to say something different. Let’s exhort one another in love, whichever side of the fence, or movie, you find yourself.
Madam you are a self righteous, self worshiping, self deluded lover of the world whose loooong list of works of pretended piety are the very things that will condemn her if repentance is not forthcoming.
A conscience seared in debauchery and filth and oh so satisfied with it’s own goodness. (just watch the retreat folks) You do not impress me. The Word of almighty God impresses me. All your works are as filthy rags and your love of he world’s blasphemous debasement of God’s holy covenant of marriage, sex and family is the defining feature of your words.
I stand by my statement:
If it would be sin for you (or me) to perform it is sin for you (and me) to consume. Period. Unless paying others to sin can be defined as loving them as yourself. It’s simple, it’s biblical and universally binding on every conscience for all time. Do not be shocked if the libertine goon squad makes another showing here
You are the first of the libertine goon squad to show up. I’m not going to get into a works waving war with you, but suffice it to say that we regularly go into the most violent and wretched east side Detroit neighborhoods littered with the most pathetic and profoundly lost human beings you ever heard of. So go right on talking pornography on your bus, but keep your self exalting carnality to yourself when trying to look righteous to me. The jack o lantern jesus you point people to is created in your own image. You are going to pay. I beg you in the name of the true and risen spotlessly pure Lamb of the living God to forsake this hippified sugar daddy and live.
One more thing and at the risk of really sounding the wrong way. I did not create myself. In Jesus name and to His glory alone I will humbly go toe to toe with any ten of you degenerate bible butchers any day of the week. I am VERY well AWARE of ALL the bible. Thank you. I know how shocking that is to you post modern elitists, but you will not point me to one single syllable of the scriptures that I have not dealt with with you people one thousand times already.
Melissa and I disagree on some stuff, but she is EXACTLY right here. After Genesis three the only thing left of the garden’s glorious open freedom of unashamed nakedness is the marriage bed wherein the merciful loving God has left us a temporal taste of His original paradise. Nudity between the genders is universally shameful anywhere else since and paying other people to do ONSCREEN what we would never dream of doing ourselves is both rank hypocrisy and accessory to spiritual murder.
(here it comes) Please, I beg of thee. Don’t start coming at me with Isaiah and Peter and your other attempts to call wholesome what God Himself covered in shame.
BTW, this isn’t even getting into the abuse of His name, for which He will hold no man guiltless and which I feel certain will be an indispensable feature of this garbage as it virtually always is.
You are a child of the spirit of this age Dani. Don’t mistake my words for hatred as you folks just about always do. Quite the contrary. I just know the strangling death grip that the WORSHIP of art and entertainment (neither is evil in itself) has on the modern western church.
Before commenting, I have chosen to read the Bible (all of it) and I have drawn this conclusion. The Bible isn’t entertainment, and doesn’t contain pictures, video clips or dramatizations designed to elicit, or entice our passions. 50 Shades of Grey isn’t even a documentary. I would consider what others may be saying are liabilities to this type of entertainment in addition to what you feel may be the assets.
Dani,
I agree with you 100%. We have the tendency to only see the bad in people, places, or things. No one should be judged based upon their choices to see a movie or read a book. That’s the same as judging a peron by their appearence. And for the comment that Melissa made about bringing the character into your bedroom, that sounds like a personal problem. I have read all three books and not once have I pictured that man in my bed. I fell in love with the story of a couple that struggled with their demons (like we all do) and their love and faith towards each other grew stronger as they overcame their flaws. The book/movie is not for a weak mind or heart.
Melissa,
This is based on your own oppinion and that “oppinion” should not be forced upon another person..
Romans 2:1
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”
No one person is perfect, it is a struggle we all must live with.
Hi, Jessica,
Writing on my own blog isn’t exactly forcing my opinion on someone else. The scary thing about being human is that we all have weak minds and hearts. If you are a Christian and you don’t believe that you do have a weak mind or heart, there is great danger there. If you are not a Christian, then this blog post wasn’t necessarily written with you in mind, as I pointed out in the post. But, I’m glad you’re here and I appreciate your comment!
I am betting that God would say the most beautiful love story is one where a man/ women seek God to find their husband/wife and wait until marriage before having sex. I heard a pastor say these 3 things the other day (parapharase) Making theology fit with our desires, seeking out others to support it and wanting others to tell us what we want/think is ok. In any case look at simply stated Philippians 4:8.
Dani, congratulations to you on all your accomplishments. However, this article was in no way written to judge or condemn others on how they are living…you totally missed the point!
Prayers to you…
Dani,
While we share the same name, we certainly do not share the same view on this topic.
This culture we live in has become the most sexual and immoral culture. Your comment is proof that the enemy we are at war with is succeeding in making the filth of this world look like treasure.
You see, the problem with you seeing this as a “redemptive” love story is that it is lacking the only element that makes it redemptive. The greatest redemptive love story was that of Jesus DYING on the cross for our sin. You can’t get more redemptive than that.That story can actually be found in the Bible. It is woven through it from cover to cover but the culmination is Christs death on the cross. Unless their love story ended with the characters coming to the understanding of their need for Jesus, there is no redemptive love story in it.
We have been so bombarded with sexuality that we convince ourselves it’s okay. And Yes, I have read the Bible, not one account of sexuality has explicit details of what is happening. There is a reason the scriptures warn us about what we put before our eyes. Do you not remember what He did to Sodom and Gomorrah? He destroyed their city because of wickedness that was being done.
Did you know that there has been a HUGE rise in pornography in the last several years. KIDS are even filling their mind with images that will never be erased. They are igniting passions that are meant to be contained until they are married. You may not think 50 shades of Grey has anything to do with porn but it does. Reading and watching such explicit material engages an area of the brain that desires more of it.
You don’t need a book about romance and sec to talk to people you don’t know. Especially if you want to talk to them about Jesus, which you should. All you need is the gospel!!
Jesus is everything people, Jesus is everything!!
Dani, I am just curious. You said that you didn’t tell 99% of your Christian friends that you read the books. Why not?
There is a whole lot of “I” in your story. Just say that you don’t agree with the blogger. The more of your story you told the less I beloved you. You sound like you are trying to make excuses. You are really very ashamed of your actions but you want admit it.
Amen I agree I have read all three books and if you disregard the sex scenes it is a great story. People want to focus on the wrong of everything but never point out the good. And people wanna drag you down because of some of the things you partake in when they have their own guilty pleasures. I don’t think reading this made me any less a Christian. I read it an found that even though the male in this book is troubled and pushing everyone away and found an outlet for his anger one girl changed it all. She taught him he could love without pain from the past.
My thoughts exactly!!! Well-said!
Melissa, thank you for having the courage to post this article!
I believe this type of “entertainment” for a Christian is wrong on many levels. You and others that have commented have expressed them very well.
It always strikes me as particularly naive to think that we can watch any type of movie or TV show that we choose and there will be no negative effects. That is simply not realistic.
Keep up the good work!
I couldn’t agree more about calling Christians to our responsibility to guard our hearts. However, it hurts me intensely when I read so many, many articles or blogs (such as yours) that make the sweeping assumption that EVERY woman’s Christian husband pledges to love her until death, that every wife’s husband who follows the Lord encourages her and supports her and comforts her in sadness. I’ve been married for many years to a fellow Christ-follower, persevered through years of counseling, and now accept that he is who he is. God can certainly change this man and make him “come alive” and want closeness with me and to have a heart for his wife; but my husband has to be a willing participant in that. My husband doesn’t comfort me when I cry; he often turns away in frustration or simply ignores me and my sadness. He supports our family financially, but supporting me emotionally? No. In my hopes and fears and dreams and goals? No. Spiritually, when I’m struggling or need to be reminded of the truth of how God sees me? No. He plays with our children, yes; but that’s more about our family than our marriage. His feelings toward me truly lie in conditional approval, not unconditional love. Also, we stopped having sex almost 2 years ago (after many years of long periods with no sexual intimacy) for one reason: I stopped begging for it. Literally, begging. In a rare moment of frank honesty, he told me years ago that true sexuality terrifies him (his words). His past and his upbringing and his exposure to what is impure have impacted him more than I ever knew when, as a 28-year-old virgin, I married him. So keeping a fictitious character out of our bedroom? That’s not an issue in terms of how it would affect our intimacy; nothing is happening in our bedroom (or couch or shower or anywhere–I know. I’ve tried.) So my fear is this: The way in which you’ve worded this post could far, far too easily give wives like me the “out” to indulge in this kind of entertainment (book, movie, or whatever). It’d be too easy for a wife such as myself to read this post and say, “well, my husband doesn’t make me feel safe and loved; he doesn’t touch me or want me. He’s not like all the other Christian husbands. I have no choice but to look for intimacy or romance elsewhere.” HOWEVER, you know what? His abandonment gives me no excuse for that. Should Christian women endeavor to keep their sex lives with their husbands pure? Absolutely. But this is not the primary reason that we as Christ-loving women should avoid the Fifty Shades movie (I didn’t read the book, never would, and would never watch the movie–I couldn’t even believe it when Christian female friends watched the film “Magic Mike.”) The foundational, fundamental reason that I as a daughter of the Lord will avoid that kind of worldly entertainment is this: That is not who God created me to be, that is not the woman I want to be, and it lures me into thinking that the good in my life that God provides is not good enough (so I’d need to go out and get it for myself). That would be idolatry. Because despite a lonely marriage (for almost 12 years now), God IS good to me in this marriage. It is His will; He is using it to transform me in ways I never would have grown without this. He knows what He is doing. So if I trust His heart to provide enough good for me–and trust Him to be “good enough” for me–I won’t choose to seek a sense of goodness in life in areas that are impure. No matter what kind of husband or marriage I have. Maybe your post would have felt more relate-able (because I know for a fact I’m not the only Christian woman out there experiencing this kind of marriage) if you’d acknowledged this. Your wording almost comes across as “hey, ladies, we owe this to our husbands.” When actually, I don’t think I do owe it to my husband, who prefers for me to be a pal or maybe a tolerable roommate but not a wife. But I surely owe it to the Lord and to myself. I choose to live out respect to my husband, and avoiding this kind of entertainment is certainly a way to live out that respect. But not because I owe it to him–instead, because I want to honor the Lord by honoring my husband, marriage, and the new creation Jesus died for me to become.
Where is a support group for those of us who kept ourselves pure until marriage only to be rejected physically by the very men we thought were are prince charmings? None of my friends have this problem. I thought I was the only one.
I’m so sorry for your hurt too IsITMe. 🙁 (there must be more of this than I ever could have thought of)
It is totally inappropriate for any man by himself to really be an ongoing help with this (not that I would even try) though I did remark generally just below to Allison. Perhaps you and her could become friends if nothing else. Or maybe even start one?
Lord Jesus help me. I hope I’m doing the right thing even addressing this at all.
Even if this would have been Dani bringing this story, it would have effected me just the same.
Allison Lee. While there are 2 sides to every story and people can say anything on the internet, I think I believe you and my heart breaks for you my dear. Now I’m gonna be messed up all day. 🙁
Clearly you are crying out to anyone who will listen (quite normal),, but you may wish to be a bit more careful putting your heart out in a public forum like this Not everyone will be charitable and some will hurt you to amuse themselves. I’ve met them.
I am adding you to my prayer board. Just a couple quick things. First, Melissa can certainly speak for herself, but I happen to know that she writes primarily for people she knows and I promise you had no intent to rub salt in anybody’s wounds like yours. I’m sure she’ll be hurt for you too when she sees this.
You have a solid grasp of your responsibilities and God’s promises generally, regarding the situation you’re in. Being the very best wife you can be is the path to seeing God’s smile and glory in your lonely heart. Barring abuse that is. God does not expect women (or men for that matter) to stay in a dangerous home. That doesn’t sound like your situation though.
I cannot even intelligently comment on your husband’s inexplicable behavior. I hate to speculate about the possible explanations for a young man with a loving wife who doesn’t want sex. Please don’t receive his distance as a defect in you. It may not even necessarily mean he doesn’t love or want you. Us guys can be just as screwy and emotional and plain irrational about marriage as the ladies can be. Believe me, men have sexual insecurities too. There could be something terrifying him that he won’t tell anybody about. That makes him think HE’S the one who’s no good anymore. Maybe. I don’t know.
I’m so sorry for your loneliness, but you are right. The answer is not in the temporary carnal satisfactions of worldly filth like this book or movie or immoral TV. The answer is in Jesus. Alone time with Him and His word is also absolutely essential. Keep yourself around solid like minded women of God who will push and pull you forward in Him. Who will pray and read God’s word with you. Who will sing His praises with you. A solid church in other words, which I really do hope you have. God will send hurting women to you too. So you CAN minister to THEM.
Offer to read and pray with your husband. If he will begin to be in the word and even short times of prayer, just you and him, that IS the foundation for intimacy. If he will not then you’ve tried, but I wouldn’t give up either though wisdom is certainly needed here.
Please hear me on this last one. Watch out for some fine godly man with caring eyes and a willing ear. I can hear him now and he may even mean it:
Oh your poor dear. I can imagine your emptiness and heartache. (sad caring face) What is wrong with this silly man who wouldn’t recognize what a beautiful, warm and loving prize he has in a woman like you.”
There is the devil. Hitting you right where you are most vulnerable. Flee! There is disaster and guilt here beyond your most horrific nightmares.
I don’t know how I got into this,
Assuming the situation is close to how you convincingly make it appear, and I am assuming that, your Father God sees your family, and His word and is will where your comfort and victory are.
God bless you.
Tiribulus, I understand that many may not be “charitable,” as you say, in response to what I shared about my own personal struggles. And that’s OK with me. I wrote this with no expectations that people would respond with compassion and empathy. I wrote my comments as I did for two reasons:
1. For every woman struggling in her marriage in similar ways to my own. So that she (and they) can read this and understand that she is not alone. That she is not un-lovely, un-loveable, or undesirable. So that she can place her hope in Jesus and blossom knowing and experiencing how much she is loved in Him, and in that trust, to be the wife she desires to be in the power of His Spirit regardless of how the other person behaves or responds.
2. For the writer of the blog to understand that not every wife has the kind of marriage she possesses or that she writes about. You mention that she writes for people she knows–however, I’m sure she understands that there will be women who read her blog whom she does not know–and if she’s a blogger, she absolutely wants to expand her blogging sphere of influence beyond her own circle of acquaintances. I continue to read well-meaning articles and posts by Christian women who write about honoring husbands, saying encouraging words to husbands, etc. but they NEVER address the need to do this even in a hurting and lonely marriage. They never write about how, even if your husband is not loving you or comforting you or caring for you, still say encouraging words; still show love; still show respect–respect, too, is to be unconditional.
I continue to find that, when I whisper words of vulnerability such as these to a friend, she might respond with her own deep wounds. And then I hear from more women, and more and more, who are finally finding a safe place to be honest about a sense of failure and sadness that they never imagined could exist when they’d been seeking the Lord throughout dating, engagement, etc. Such as my friend who left deeply wounded from Christian marriage conferences because the speakers kept joking about how the newly weds couldn’t wait to get back to their rooms and be alone–when this sweet friend, a newlywed herself, had no hope of that with her own husband. When we get real about the scars and burdens in our lives, God does something powerful. If my being real and vulnerable encourages some women today to keep pressing on even when they go to bed every night feeling alone and sad and wondering why and where and how they failed, then I’m happy I wrote what I wrote. And maybe more bloggers, writers, and conference speakers can join us in this vulnerability. The details of my story and the path that led me to where I am today aren’t important here at this moment, nor are the issues that my husband himself possesses in this area of life (that have been duly addressed in lengthy counseling sessions). I simply desire to encourage my hurting sisters in Christ and to admonish those giving advice to Christian wives to think about us, too.
Allison,
I want to thank you for sharing your hurts here. It’s very difficult as a blogger to address every reader’s possible experiences in every post. But, you have certainly made me think about being more sensitive. Sometimes when I write things I have a certain point in mind, and everyone comes to the post with their own experiences which color what they see here. It’s easy to be misinterpreted. Thank you for making me think and for offering understanding to other women in your situation.
Allison, one of your points being: do right, regardless of what the other person does. We’re not responsible for what the other person does or doesn’t do, we’re responsible for how we respond, react, to what others do. Jesus set the perfect example for us in this when Judas brought the soldiers to get him and Jesus called Judas “Friend.” Was Judas being a friend to Jesus? Of course not, but Jesus was still a friend to Judas. We are to love people, especially our spouse, whether they love us or not. We are to honor our husbands, whether they respect us or not. Is it hard to love someone when they show little, if any, love toward us, absolutely, but that’s what God has done for mankind and his children are to do the same. Marriage is not a thing that we get into and stay just as long as everything goes our way, but it’s a lifetime commitment for better or worse, ’til death do us part. (I do understand Tiribulus’ warning, concerning some man coming along and showing you compassion that you’re missing in your marriage and the devil using that to tempt you. As we should all know, the devil doesn’t always come at us with horns and a pitchfork, but he can come at us through, what looks like, a caring person and he is waiting to steal, kill, and destroy our soul.) May God help you in every way, in Jesus’ name!
Don’t have to worry about me seeing it. It is God who decides what is clean and unclean, not our self-justified attitudes. We have to be clean in how we live and what we stand for. There is no wiggle room. Elijah told the people of Israel at the contest on Mount Carmel…. you cannot be of two opinions, if you love Baal then worship him…if you love God then worship Him. This is no different.
This is why I literally hate the majority of Christian women. BRING ON THE KINK
Mrs. Grey, in looking at what you named your email address, I’ll just say that it’s impossible to love God and hate people. 1 John4:7-8: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Exactly! No harm, no foul.
I agree! Bunch of self righteous women that think they’re so much better than everyone else. I can’t even stand to be in the same room with them most of the time. Bring on the kink and hot man! If they don’t want to see the movie, then they can sit at home and sing hymns and read their bible. NO ONE ASKED THEM TO WATCH IT AND THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR IDIOTIC OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES. It’s a movie people. FICTION. ENTERTAINMENT. Act like you’ve got some common sense and take the stick out of your butt.
@ Love the Grey:
You don’t get to come to someone else’s blog and tell them what opinions they can and cannot express. There is an entire world of debauchery and filth for you to wallow in. You should have no shortage of friends to play with. Why are you here worried about a self righteous Christian housewife and her uptight ridiculous opinions IN HER HOUSE.
It’s pretty clear who has the problem here. Maybe a still breathing conscience not yet entirely pickled in immorality? I would really like to hope so.
And you should show some respect for others and their opinions, even if you don’t agree. No one asked you to read her blog either.
Following that premise, you better make sure you never leave your home (or look out your windows) because you might see an attractive person. Also, make sure you are controlling your dreams because heaven forbid you ever have an ungodly thought. I admire your ability to adhere wholeheartedly to your beliefs, but this is ridiculous and impractical.
An Olympic achievement in point missing from Renee.
Jessica,
You stated: “No one person is perfect…” I don’t believe that God looks at “perfection” like some people do. Mankind may say you’re not perfect, you got the wrong answer to that math problem, but God looks on the heart and judges perfection. Some of the people in the Bible, who were described as perfect by God, would probably not be described as perfect by their spouse, for instance, but it’s God’s judgment of who/what is perfect that matters and his WORD lets us know that there has been, and are, perfect people. 🙂 Peace…
Genesis 6:9 “These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.”
Try reading Genesis 17:1, Deuteronomy 18:13, I Kings 15:14, Job 1:1, Psalm 37:37, Psalm 64:3-4, Psalm 101:6, Proverbs 2:21, Matthew 5:48, Luke 6:40, I Corinthians 2:6, Philippians 3:15, Colossians 1:28, Colossians 4:12, Hebrews 12:23,
James 3:2, For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”
I Peter 5:10 “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
http://www.leahheffner.com/fifty-shades-of-grey/
I am not even close to being what I should be but I love my Lord and no, I will NOT be watching 50 shades of grey. I have never read the books and I do not intend to.
My best friend wrote this book. You might enjoy it.
http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grace-Shauna-Marie/dp/1938434153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406489203&sr=8-1&keywords=fifty+shades+of+grace+hyde
Nice read. Thanks for the reminder to guard our hearts and minds. Just wanted to mention that the call to holiness applies to single Christian women as well.
I’m not married, not a practicing Christian, young ish woman, still not interested in seeing this movie. Not just because of the filthy story, but because it holds very little temptation for me. I’d rather see Planet of the Apes. Lol!
I did see Magic Mike, didn’t find it titilating or erotic, it was just a sad stripper story. Change the genders and you have a very old story.
Have you ever watched a movie with a sex scene in it before? Would you post all of this about not seeing that movie because it had a sex scene in it? What’s the difference with 50 shades and any otherrors movie we’ve swent with a sex scene in it? I think A WHOLE LOT is being made about this.
#1 Any time you start to think some sin is “Not a big deal” or “Just entertainment”- you have been deceived. Jesus went to cross because of Sin. Sin is always a big deal.
#2 People don’t like it when you touch their idols.
#3 Romans 1 ends with a long list of sinful acts and then these works: Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
Hi , thank you for the post . Whether this book is a love story or a story of redemption , it is riddled with smut .
For those who decry being judged for reading it or watching the movie …I say to you …. You are the hypocrite to yourself …as stated , the heart is the greatest deceiver . Sorry , can’t watch a movie like this or read a book like this without having some wild and nasty thoughts pass through the mind .
and this is why I’m NOT a christian. good glob you guys are insane.
“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)
Lol I can’t help but laugh at how much anger is spewing from the mouth of some of the people that are not in agreement with the Blogger! Wow you are going to have a heart attack even before the movie is out! Take a chill pill,relax and wait patiently for your soft porn to appear lol lol….
BEAUTIFUL post and exactly what I have been thinking and feeling!
I am 22, newlywed, and absolutely in love with my husband who I have been married to for 7 months and dated for almost 6 years.
I will NOT be seeing this movie (nor have I read the books). It would disrespect my husband and my role as a wife completely. I have friends and family who have told me they will be seeing the movie- I do not judge or look down on them. I just simply do not agree. This book defies God’s creation and meaning for sex. It is meant to pervert and entice the thoughts of men and women. The devil is crafty. Also while we are on this subject I think the new show on USA, Satisfied (which I’ve never watched but now fast forward through the advertisement), can fall under all the points I’ve made and read on this blog. The world has become so corrupt and will continue on this path if we as Christians allow it.
This book is part of the reason my marriage was destroyed. The lady that had an affair with my husband was all caught up in this series. I was close to this woman we were best friends. So, I hate 50 Shades of Grey. The woman even gave me the book and told me it was awesome and I needed to read it. I refused to read it. When I found out she was doing whatever she was doing with my husband I ripped the book she gave me to pieces. I am a Christian woman who will not be watching this movie because it changed my life and my children’s lives forever.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Sheree!
Sheree- this is Shelley (your sister). I am about 100% sure this is you. I am not going to see this movie either, because I love my husband, and I know it would dishonor him. I have not read the books- but, I have read lots of blogs/articles over the debates about it. From what I can tell….. It is filth! I would be mortified for someone to see me watching it, so that tells me there is something wrong there. My sister’s life was/is turned upside down for the putrid filth written on these pages. She is one of the strongest women I know- and another woman’s fantasies lured her husband away. Fantasies that were conjured up by THIS series! So to say words don’t effect our hearts and minds- I beg to differ. Sometimes they not only effect your heart and mind, but they destroy the hearts of others. Ask yourself this…. Would you be proud to watch this is Jesus were sitting beside you in the flesh? Don’t get me wrong…. I struggle with television. Thankfully, my husband was able to point of over the years that Some of the trash I was watching was the source of my nightly nightmares. He didn’t force me to stop- but he acted like a true friend/husband who loves me and wants the best for me. As stubborn as I am…. It took me awhile to listen, but I am better off for it…. As I now can see. Watching this movie- in my opinion- is a slippery slope for women who have intimacy troubles in their marriage…. Just know that Hollywood is not reality. Your husbands cannot possibly live up to the excitement on the big screen. Satan may use this opportunity to further your dissatisfactions in your marriage (if you have any).
To my sister- when all your friends go out and see this movie…. I will stay in with you. You are beautiful and lovely- and God will bring you someone who will love you and your beautiful boys!
To the ladies who are uncertain if they are going to watch this movie- stay in and create wonderful memories with your husband. Put the excitement and passion into your marriage- instead of fantasizing it with Christain Grey.
To those who are going to be watching it- I am not judging you. I just know it isn’t best for me. I have seen it destroy a marriage already. But- if you feel a pang of guilt no one on a blog is inflicting that on you. You take that up with Christ. If you feel you can watch it worry free- that is what free will is all about.
To Melissa- thanks for your bravery!
Sheree, I am so sorry for your pain. I have lived through husband’s pornography and infidelity. I understand and agree with all who will not read these books nor watch the movie. Remember to put the blame where it needs to be. We live in a world where the boundaries are pushed daily. It’s become ever more difficult to recognize right from wrong. It has also become more difficult to take personal responsibility for our choices. Blaming this movie for your husbands behavior is like blaming guns for shooting someone. Your husband and this woman are responsible for their choices. Please understand I am not criticizing you. I just wanted to make a point about personal choices and responsibility
Yes I do understand this but you do not understand the behaviors that took place after she started reading these books. I noticed these behavior prior to finding out she was seeing my husband. She was telling me of her fantasies and the things she wanted to do.This is how it works in your mind you open a crack and the devil walks in. Reading this trash created a crack for her. So, we as Christians should guard our minds and souls by keeping the door shut. If you read my post, I said “part of” what destroyed my marriage. The analogy you used blaming guns for shooting someone is right we can not blame guns but we can blame the irresponsible people who choose to not protect others from guns. Same as in my situation. If you do not allow it to enter your mind by reading or watching dirt, more in likely you will not have a problem. Example a person can not become addicted to drugs without trying them. That was the point I was trying to get across. Our body is the temple and we should try our best to keep it pure. Keeping our bodies pure takes not accepting the things that will harm it. You never know what sin you will have a hard time battling so why open that crack!!!!!!!!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
* More than likely
Yes, totally agree. I think it’s safe to say that those who promote (Hollywood trash) are not Christian and don’t know truth. We as Christ followers are called to (with the help/guidance of the Holy Spirit) turn away. 1 Corinthians 10:13
I’m sorry to say this but so because I go to the movies and read books that makes me un Christian. I’m sure everyone has their guilty pleasure I don’t think because I watch a movie or read a book it makes me any less of a Christian than anyone. And who are you to judge who is a christian. That’s is God’s work and it says you are not to judge anyone but to show them love and direct them in the oath of the lord. Everyone sins every time you turn on the TV play a game or read a book you are supporting so called Hollywood trash.