Our four year old loves to sing. She comes home from church singing snippets of tunes she learned in Sunday school, and the other day she launched into a loud version of “Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.” I remember this song from my own childhood, as a simple reminder that it matters what Christians look at, what we listen to, what we say, what we do, and where we go. There’s something so sweet about hearing her singing this tune, knowing that she is actually unwittingly pointing me to a better way to live.
I could hear her singing. It was distant–she was in her room, twittering absentmindedly, like a little bird: “Be careful little tongue what you say…” As the sound reached me, I smiled. I was working at my computer. I work a customer service job for a great women’s boutique, and I have learned a lot about myself in this job, because I see myself in many of the women I interact with on a daily basis. I, too, am prone to panic, to overreact, and to overdramatize the situation, and I don’t fault a single one of the women I speak to who are doing just that. Sometimes things seems major when they’re minor. I’ve come to realize that I, too, use the wrong words when I’m speaking about things of little to no consequence.
For instance, a customer might tell me she’s “devastated” that her order is delayed. It’s hyperbole. But words mean something, and I understand that I have the very same problem. I flippantly use terms like “depressed” and “disappointed.” I “adore” things and I “despise” things. I do believe I’ve claimed to be “devastated” over some trivial matter and have been “distraught” about things that are completely benign. I’ve called slightly difficult things “impossible” and I’ve “grieved” things that are of no consequence.
As a pastor’s wife, I have walked through some things with people. There’s something so special about being invited in to the worst moments of life and listening, learning, being a witness to someone’s heartache. It’s not something I enjoy, but it’s something I see the meaning and privilege in. In some ways, it has shown me many truths about God’s strength, His goodness, and the ways that He gives people the grace to withstand the things that He has called them to withstand. It also helps me so see clearly, right in front of me, the difference between things that are truly devastating and things that are just minor inconveniences.
When we think about the ways that we speak, we generally focus on not being mean or gossip-y. We think about bad language and ways that we may dishonor God with our choice of words. The Bible says that our words reveal what’s going on in our hearts, and I think what I’m realizing is that the words that I choose matter, even if I’m not saying anything that could necessarily be categorized as wrong. Because when I’m faced with a minor inconvenience and speak about it as if it’s the end of my world, aren’t I revealing something that’s going awry in my heart? Don’t I reveal an ungrateful attitude and a lack of awareness of what real devastation looks like? When I find myself speaking that way, knowing that the words I choose are uncovering something deeper, it may be time to get outside of myself and serve others more. I need to reevaluate my priorities and recenter on the things of God, remembering the difference between minor trouble and true loss.
It wouldn’t hurt to be more thoughtful about the ways that we speak. Some things we say for dramatic effect, and some we say to try to be entertaining or to liven up our speech. But whatever comes out of our mouths is indicative of what’s happening in our hearts, and sometimes our vocabulary can be one of our first clues.
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6
