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We’ll Give Up Everything But Our Entitlement

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I spend a lot of time thinking about the future of Christianity. I think about the coming days of the country that I live in, and I wonder what we will be called to suffer through as our culture turns more and more anti-Christian and anti-Bible. I often pray that my family and I will have the faith to trust God through whatever may come. I tend to dwell on the big, hypothetical scenarios, wondering how I would react in different frightening or threatening situations: would my belief in Christ hold up to the worst possible things that could happen?

It’s easy to focus on a world of hypotheticals. To think of grand gestures of faith that would please the Lord. To consider how I might glorify Him if I were called to suffer in various (unlikely) circumstances.

What’s more difficult is looking at my present situation. How does my faith hold up here, with very little (if any) suffering, with a packed schedule and lots of responsibilities but a mostly extremely pleasant, if tiring, life? It amazes me how quickly I begin to feel put-upon. How often I will grumble and complain about my responsibilities at church or the small inconveniences of dealing with other human beings. It shocks me how regularly I feel like I deserve something more or better: a paycheck, a pat on the back, a compliment, more enthusiasm from others for what I am doing.

If I want to get brutally honest about my heart, it is entitled to its very core. My heart wants recognition, special treatment, a pedestal to perch on. As much as I hate to admit it, I can imagine all day long what my faith could hold up to in some far-fetched scenario that I dream up, but in my day-to-day, I can’t even give up my own desire for more comfort, more free time, more recognition, more glory. The sad truth is that I live such a privileged life that I don’t even handle slight discomfort or slight stress well. And if you really want to get down to it, you probably have some of the same heart issues.

We are so sure we would give up everything for Christ, even our very lives if we were called to, but we can’t even let go of our feeling that we deserve good things that we aren’t getting. Yes, we feel we deserve more, even in middle our pleasant, happy, comfortable, blessed lives.

No wonder David’s prayer rings true when we read it: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Ps. 51:10) It speaks to us because we know that we all have lying hearts that tell us we deserve more and better. Hearts that feed our pride and lead us to feel mistreated, misunderstood, and more holy than we actually are.

We would give up anything, we say. Anything at all to prove our love for Christ. Yet, we cling to our sense of entitlement and we let it steal our joy in serving the Lord.

True faith that bears fruit isn’t really found in the hypotheticals. It’s discovered here, now, in the daily act of dying to ourselves and to our sense of all the things we’re entitled to receive. Taking up a cross is no way to achieve success as the world defines it. It is no way to get honor and recognition and pats on the back. But it is the way to know Christ more. It is the way to identify with our Savior.

This is what a faith that has real effect looks like: it is humble and lowly and recognizes the need to be continually rescued from a desire for things that we don’t deserve. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Even we can’t understand them. But, God can. And He knows just how to tame them. Show us the way, Lord.

Raising Pro-Life Children in a Culture of Death

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The latest sound bytes coming out of New York and Virginia have caused most of us terrible grief, as we look up from our day-to-day lives and recognize that our country really has turned into a culture of death. So many facets of our society proclaim that human life isn’t worth much, but none so boldly and unapologetically as the shameful sin of abortion. As the conversation now shifts from the killing of infants in the womb to the killing of infants lying in a hospital bassinet, we look into the faces of our own children and wonder what sort of world they will be raising kids in. What sort of decisions will they face when it comes to the lives of their babies, and will they revere human life enough to know which decision to make? Will they grow up recognizing all people as special creations, made in the image of the one true God? Or will they listen to the demented arguments of those hellbent on killing and find them quite reasonable?

It all boils down to worldview. How can we instill a pro-life ethos in our children? No matter what is happening outside the front door of our homes, how do we create and foster and cherish a culture of life inside our own families? I believe it is entirely possible, but only if we talk to our children. If we shy away from the tough subjects with our kids, they will be left to guess how to process all of things that they see and hear around them. They need our guidance. And, most importantly, they need guidance from a biblical perspective. In the way that we live and in the way that we teach our children, our goal should always be raising true disciples who leave our homes with a crystal clear biblical lens through which to see and understand the world.  With that in mind, here are four ways that we can help our children grow up with a reverence for human life.

1. Teach them that human beings are different from the rest of creation. Our kids need to learn from an early age that human beings are special. Not only were we created in the image of the creator God, we were also created for relationship with Him. We have souls that will never die, and we were appointed to look after and take care of the rest of His creation. Every human life is precious because we are a reflection of our Creator. Our children need to understand that all the animals in the world, as sweet as they can be, are not as precious as a single human life. (Genesis 1:26-27, Mark 12:30)

2. Teach them about abortion. Our children need to know that abortion exists. They need to know that there are people in our country who make it their life mission to see abortion widely accepted and regularly utilized. Even younger children can understand the concept, and they will unequivocally recognize that it is wrong. We can use abortion as an opportunity to show our children how wicked the human heart really is, how bent toward sin it is, and how easily and quickly we try to justify our sins. With older children, we can show them examples of the kind of rhetoric that would try to convince them that abortion is none of their business. Then we can teach them otherwise. (Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:23)

3. Teach them that people are worth our time. Our children need to know that no one is worthless or not worth helping or not worth dealing with. People can be difficult, no doubt. They can be annoying and needy. But, through our actions and attitudes toward the human beings around us, we can show our children that people are worth the bother. They are worth the investment and the care and the time. The last thing our children should ever see us doing is writing someone off as hopeless. If anyone is a special creation of God, there is always hope. We can teach our children to look into the face of every person, even those that are more difficult to love or even tolerate, and recognize them as one made in the image of God. (Incidentally, this includes the abortion activists.) (John 13:34, Romans 15:13)

4. Teach them to serve others. Our children need to know that one of the fastest ways to see the value in another individual is by serving them. When we serve others we bind ourselves to them in a special way. We humble ourselves and put the needs of another ahead of our own. One of the most formative experiences that I regularly had as a child was going to a nursing home with my church. Even now, I always leave the nursing home with a greater understanding of the enduring worth of human life. When we share these experiences with our children, they, too, will begin to see humanity as something much bigger than their own experiences. And they will have a clearer view of how God uses people, in all phases and stages of life, to accomplish His will and purposes. (Galatians 5:3, Romans 12:1)

We are in the perfect position while our kids are still in our homes to fill their hearts and minds with the things of God. May the Lord bless you as you teach your children. I pray that together we will raise up a pro-life generation that will seek to honor God in this battle for life. And in all things. Amen.

Your Kids Do Think About You

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This morning I opened the door to my shower and turned the hot water all the way up. I stood there in my fuzzy robe, bleary-eyed and weary before the day had even really started and sighed deeply, wishing that I could go back to bed for a couple of hours. Then something undeniably cheery caught my eye from the corner of the steamy shower. It was three tiny bright yellow rubber ducks. Sawyer came across these ducks at some point in the past month or so, and since then every night when he takes a shower, he places them in some funny spot for me to find the next morning. Today they were perched atop three different bottles of soap and shampoo, facing each other as if they were conducting a board meeting. When I saw them I had to giggle a little bit. And wasn’t that Sawyer’s goal? To amuse me in some way? To brighten my morning with a cheerful little surprise?

Kids get the bad reputation of being completely self-focused. We tend to think of them as little creatures who think only of themselves and how they are affected by things. And there is no doubt that children do have the luxury of being a little bit self-centered at times. But as parents we should never make the mistake of believing that our kids don’t think about us. Actually, our children are constantly thinking about us, about how we react to things. About how we feel and what will make us happy or sad. Our kids are probably more in tune with our moods and wants and needs more than most people in our lives. And, as Sawyer’s ducks testify in their board meeting, our kids are often seeking ways to get our attention, meet our approval, or get a reaction from us.

As Christian parents, we should be especially aware of this way that our kids are tuned in to our actions and feelings. We can’t fool ourselves into thinking that our kids aren’t affected when we let our anger rule us. Or when we say something hurtful that can’t be unsaid. We can’t lull ourselves into believing that our kids don’t notice what we watch and listen to, what we say to our spouse or our friend, what we are posting on social media or how we react to those who are different from us. In many ways, my children are experts in who I am as a person. They know my favorite candy, which songs I’m most likely to belt out in the car, which colors I try to avoid because of my red hair. What would ever make me think that anything that I do escapes their notice? The truth is that every move I make informs them about who I am and what a Christian should be like, and they are watching me, always, to see what I will show them about following Christ.

It’s a terribly convicting thought because I know I am such a flawed example to them. Yet, I am an example nonetheless, and at this stage in their lives I am probably their most important example, apart from their dad. Sawyer’s ducks were a reminder to me: he is thinking about me. He cares how I interact with him and how I respond to him, both in fun and serious situations. He is watching me, considering me, wondering about me, and learning from me. Instead of assuming that our children are in their own world, wrapped up in kid things, we should stop and think about the many ways that they are showing us how perceptive they are of our attitudes and actions, and how often they are reaching out in their own ways for connection with us.

In all of this my prayer is that my own selfishness will be replaced by godliness. That when my kids watch me live this life, when they think about me and try to gauge my reactions, when they wonder how I feel or what I am thinking, that they will settle into a peaceful confidence. Their mother will not be perfect. But I pray they will see me seeking Christ and leaning on Him in the best times and the worst times.

With delight, Sawyer asked me if I liked the ducks. He smiled at me, and I wondered how much longer I will have the honor of being regularly on his mind. I reached out for a hug, and we grinned together about the three little ducks, discussing where they might turn up next. Just one flawed mother and her sweet son, learning each other and relying on the love of Christ when our own love proves imperfect. Tomorrow morning when I shuffle into my bathroom with a yawn, I expect I will again be surprised by three little yellow ducks. Maybe they will be standing on their heads. Maybe they will be marching up stairs made of shampoo bottles. I will smile in spite of the early hour because those little ducks will remind me once again that I sometimes occupy the thoughts of three children who have been entrusted to my care and discipleship. God’s mercies are new every morning, and so is the opportunity to show my kids what an authentic Christian life really looks like. They don’t need perfection. But they do need a Savior. And I am the mother who can point them to Him. What an honor. What a Savior.

Don’t Look Away

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I have been a part of my husband’s family for twenty years. I remember one night years ago before we all had kids, when Chad’s siblings and his parents and I were sitting around telling stories. Somehow a hilarious tale came up about some high school rebellion or other that had never been found out. As the story grew and she began to hear things she didn’t like, my sweet mother-in-law put her hands over her face and said with a laugh, “I don’t want to know about it!” She is a brilliant woman with multiple degrees, but when it came to this story, she enjoyed her blissful ignorance. She didn’t want to hear any more. She was happy to bury her head in the sand and go on believing that her boys were just as responsible and principled in high school as they are now.

It really doesn’t matter if Chad’s mom ever listens to that story or gets wise about some of the dumb stuff her kids did in high school. She isn’t raising them anymore. They turned out pretty great, and she can freely avoid the realities of those silly things that are now long past.

But those of us who are still in the trenches don’t get out so easy. We don’t get a bury-your-head-in-the-sand pass. We need to look up, look around, listen, and understand what is happening in the world around us.

A video is making its way around the internet that is part of a series called “Kids Meet…” This particular episode is titled “Kids Meet Someone Who’s Had an Abortion.” In the video, Amelia Bonow, the founder of #ShoutYourAbortion, sits down with kids to talk to them about how normal abortion is. She says it’s like “a crappy dentist appointment” where the doctor uses a straw to suck “the pregnancy” out. She also tells them that she feels that life begins at birth. For those who are pro-life, the video is disturbing. It revolves entirely around her feelings and sends the message to the kids who are speaking with her (and those who are watching on YouTube for Kids) that you are a mean person if you question someone’s feelings about a matter, even something as controversial and important as abortion.  She teaches the kids that the term pro-life is a misnomer and when one little boy says that he doesn’t believe that abortion should be a solution to what he calls “recklessness,” she tells him that even though her partner didn’t use a condom that she doesn’t qualify that as reckless, just a mistake.

As parents, it’s hard to face the reality that these are the kinds of “truths” that filmmakers and book writers, YouTubers and celebrities, teachers and politicians are diligently trying to teach our children. But the Bible is just another book on a shelf for most of the world. We MUST realize that the worldview that most influencers are promoting is directly opposed to what the Bible teaches. There was a time when what the culture was promoting pretty well lined up with the Bible. Parents in those days had the luxury of trusting the world at large to help them raise their children. We will not be able to coast through parenting that way. We will have to actively and consistently teach our kids how to process this world through a biblical lens, and the only way we can do that is if we look at and listen to exactly what our kids are being taught.

Over and over again as I shared this video with friends, they responded by saying they couldn’t watch the whole thing because they were too disgusted and disturbed. But, I would urge all of us: don’t look away. Watch and listen and show your kids and talk about it with them. Know what they are seeing on YouTube and Netflix. Know which websites they are frequenting. Follow Teen Vogue and see all of the ways that they are encouraging your kids to sin. Listen to the rhetoric that comes out of Hollywood and Washington. We can’t combat the wrong thinking that is being poured into our kids’ brains if we refuse to listen to it.

A few days ago, Amelia Bonow tweeted: “The ‘Kids Meet Someone Who Had An Abortion’ video now has over a million views. Huge thanks to the anti-choice mob for sharing widely & exposing tens of thousands of conservative women who’ve had abortions to the fresh, seductive idea that they don’t have to hate themselves.”

I like to think that the video has been shared so often because we, as parents, are waking up to the notion that our kids are being actively targeted and indoctrinated into a feelings-based worldview that completely discounts and directly opposes God’s way. But, it’s not enough to look and listen. Then we have to talk to our kids, often and with depth, and most importantly of all, we have to live out our faith in a way that shows them that God is real and that Jesus is so much better than anything the world has to offer.  Remember, the way is narrow and few find it. The majority of the voices out there are more in line with #ShoutYourAbortion than God’s word. Let’s raise our kids according to His word, eyes open, hearts tuned to His goodness, ears listening for the whispers of those who want to lead our children down the wide, easy path. Raising disciples in 2019 won’t be easy, but what an opportunity to bring glory to the Lord.

Count the Cost of Raising True Disciples (and Know That It’s Worth It)

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I want you to know something about training up children in the way they should go: it’s hard. It’s at the same time the greatest joy and a constant source of heartache. While you may see your child soaring spiritually, growing in the Lord every day, knowing Him more and loving Him more even while she becomes a woman in a culture that preaches every wrong thing at her all day long, you may also see that her circle of friends dwindles. That she searches and doesn’t find a like-minded soul to share her teenaged years with. You may look up and realize that your child is on the narrow path, and there isn’t a lot of foot traffic there, especially in junior high and high school. You may figure out that your child is interested in all of the things that the rest of her world is not. And, you will laugh at the brilliance and beauty of her spirit which is anchored to Christ. And you will wipe tears as you wonder where she will turn for friendship and companionship and close friends as her years go on.

In all of that, in all of the jumping for joy and the wringing of hands, we must remember that in the end it will all be worth it. In fact, it’s worth it now. It’s worth it to see your child discovering Christ, really seeing Him and learning to depend on Him.

The question is not whether our children can flourish on this path. It’s isn’t whether they can handle the possible rejections or the loneliness or the feelings that come with living as outsiders in a land that very much values insiders. They can. They can and will flourish. They can and will handle it. They can and will endure suffering, the kind that leaves them searching a crowd of high schoolers, looking for one sign of encouragement. For one hint of, “We’re waiting for you. Come and sit with us.” Our kids, with Jesus, can withstand this and so much more.

The real question is whether we as parents will have the strength and the courage to stick with this plan. To forget about popularity and temporary glories so we can point our kids to eternal things. The question is whether we will turn to our Savior, counting on Him to be enough for our children, to sustain them and us through tough teenage years and the trials of being different, the sometimes pain of choosing Christ above all. Will we falter when we see our kids suffering? Or will we remind them that in these hardships they are identifying with their Savior?

When we pray that our children will have tender hearts toward the things of God, when we pray that they will be radically devoted to Him, we must also be prepared for what that really means. And we must remind each other, over and over again: it’s worth it. He is worth it. We can rely on Him to see our children through as they blaze a path of faithfulness through a world that has been dulled by complacency and hopelessness. This is what we have been praying for. God give us the faith and the perseverance to see it through, even when our hearts break. Following Christ isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.

The Complicated Calling of a Pastor

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Today Chad and I drove across the wide open spaces of our part of Texas, sometimes chatting amiably, sometimes watching the scenery go by in silence. He spent time listening to speculation about his beloved Dallas Cowboys on sports radio while I dozed in the passenger seat. And at one point we spent a few minutes thinking and talking about our life and the interesting turns it has taken through the years. We never knew that we would wind up here, twenty years into our marriage, happily answering God’s call in our little town. Yet, here we are. God has been so gracious to bring us here where life is simple. The commute to anywhere in our town is four minutes. Trips to our local grocery store are bound to take awhile because there will be friends inside to talk to. Our world doesn’t revolve around money or cars, fashion or fancy houses. Our life here is beautiful and small and unique.

There is a certain simplicity to it. Yet, through the years we have learned just how complicated a pastor’s calling really is.

As people, Chad and I are irrevocably intertwined with others. We are likely to hear deep, dark secrets which we hold close, not even allowed to share many things with each other. We are entrusted with some of people’s most delicate admissions and live through some of their darkest hours with them. Our life is simple in so many ways. Yet, our life is about people, and people are anything but simple. We are complicated creatures filled with all kinds of surprising and delightful and shocking and sad secrets. Every room is at the same time a crowded collection of interpersonal struggles and warm friendships, family strife and sin struggles and amazing examples of God’s grace and mercy.  As a pastor’s family, we get a front row seat to all of it.

I have seen Chad carry the heavy burden of failing marriages and sudden deaths, of children with no heat in the dead of winter. I have seen him try to be the ultimate problem solver while problem after problem is laid before him. I have heard his prayers for the many people on his heart and mind at midnight when he should be sleeping.

And while all of this is going on, still he wrestles with his own spiritual battles. Still he studies and tries to flee temptation and undertakes the difficult task of dealing with difficult people, precious people, kind people, and mean people, all while begging the Holy Spirit to keep him from sin. To give him the mind and eyes of Christ. Still he feels the weight of his next sermon, always bearing down no matter what else is happening in his life or the lives of those who need him at any given time.

These aren’t things that pastors can really talk about with the rest of us. They carry a unique load, and one that isn’t easily understood by those of us who don’t bear their responsibilities. It’s a complicated calling.

Chad and I thank God every day for this simple, complicated life. We thank Him for the complicated people who have been entrusted to our care, and we thank Him for the simple message of the gospel, which can cut through the most complicated of circumstances. One thing we have learned in these pastoring years is that every complicated situation really comes down to just one thing: we all need Jesus. Watching Him work in the middle of even the most difficult and crazy circumstances proves it to us over and over again–Jesus is the real problem solver. A simple truth for a complicated calling.

Your Tribe is Bigger Than You Think

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It’s been popular for a few years for moms to refer to their family as their “tribe.” Just look around all those boutiques that are geared toward women in their child-bearing years. I guarantee you’ll see some reference to “raising my tribe” on a t-shirt or coffee mug. It’s cute. It lends itself well to graphics with arrows and baby foxes and all of the other weird things that we women are drawn to these days. But, I think at its heart the idea of your “tribe” speaks to the deep sense of responsibility and fulfillment that women feel as mothers. Once you were alone. Now you have helped create a whole little club of people who adore you.

Motherhood is fun. Having a little tribe is comforting. Except when it isn’t. Except when you’re overwhelmed and exhausted and desperate and lonely and depressed. We don’t talk about it much, but as much as motherhood is glorious it can also be crushing in an indescribable way. It is an utter emptying of yourself for small, demanding people. Later it can seem like an endless string of worries over different children for different reasons. It can be difficult when your tribe is made up of tantrum-throwers and whiners and teens with bad attitudes. And that’s when nothing crazy is happening. Then you have illnesses and spiritual crises and friendship drama and all sorts of other things that are unpredictable and can throw your world into chaos. In short, motherhood is hard. It is amazing and beautiful in ways that can’t be explained. It is a life filled with laughter, but can also be a source of deep grief. Sometimes when we gather our kids under our proverbial wings we feel like we’re the most solitary, most forlorn fortress that ever was–just a determined woman, standing guard with gritted teeth over the little people that God gave her.

As mothers we must remember that our tribe is so much bigger than we think.

If we are followers of Christ, then our little family unit is only part of the picture. The Bible tells us that our actual tribe goes far beyond the walls of our own home. In His goodness, God provides us with spiritual brothers and sisters, mothers and grandmothers, dads and fun uncles and daughters and sons. He builds a support system for us, one devoted Christian church member at a time, and He blesses us with relationships that help to ease the burden and share the blessing of raising children in this world. All we have to do is look up and see that help is all around us.

In Ephesians, Paul writes about how God can take people of all backgrounds and turn them into a unified body that glorifies Him: “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” (Eph. 2:19-22)

As Christian mothers, we have to expand our vision of who our tribe really is. We aren’t in this on our own. With fellow believers in our local church, we are being built together into a dwelling place for God–not one made of brick and mortar, but a house–no, a tribe–where God dwells. Where our children get true family members who are listed nowhere in their family tree. Where we can mother with confidence, knowing that we are surrounded by a safety net of prayer and godly wisdom, recognizing that God dwells here, among His people. There is no more secure place to be trying this experiment of raising kids. Instead of steeling ourselves against the world, desperately trying to hold everything in our tiny tribe together, we can loosen our grip on our children and link arms with God’s people, knowing that He designed the local church to be our home and our help. Our true tribe.

Who Are You Really Complaining About?

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Some people refer to this time of year as football season. I think a more appropriate name would be yell-at-the-TV season. I watch Chad pace and fret and jump up and sink down and clap and do a little jig in the living room quite often this time of year. I joke that as a Cowboys fan he spends most Sunday nights crying into his pillow. The truth is that it’s easy for Chad and other die hard fans to sit on their couches and see everything that a football player should have done. It’s easy for them to scoff at the way a player couldn’t hang onto the ball or to hold court in their plaid pajama pants about the way a quarterback just couldn’t deliver on that Hail Mary that might’ve turned everything around. How many football fans have sat around eating pizza and drinking Dr. Pepper, hollering advice to the elite athletes of the world? This time of year, armchair quarterbacking seems to be one of America’s favorite pastimes.

Moses knew a little bit about dealing with people who thought they knew better. You might say that he was called to handle the original armchair quarterbacks. Over and over again, even after God had demonstrated His power in so many undeniable ways, the Israelites would turn to Moses and ask him why in the world he ever brought them out of Egypt. They grumbled and complained and blamed Moses and Aaron every time things got more difficult. They told him that he would be the death of them and that he should have just left well enough alone and let them enjoy their life of slavery in Egypt. Sure, they were horribly abused and mistreated and killed there, but at least they had decent food to eat.

But, Moses, who is described in the Bible as the most humble person on the earth, answered their complaints in an interesting way. Knowing that he and Aaron had no power of their own and that God was firmly in control of the Israelites and their situation, Moses responded, Who are we that you should complain against us? Your grumbling is not against us, but against the Lord. Moses and Aaron were simply servants of God. They were doing His work and operating according to His bidding. The reality was that the Israelites didn’t like what the Lord was doing with them, and Moses made it clear that their complaints were actually about Him and not Moses or his brother.

It reminds me of a story a pastor friend told us years ago. He was fairly new to his congregation, and the Lord was working. The people were growing in Christ, and a new enthusiasm was filling the church, a spirit of unity and excitement. One dear little lady had spent her life serving in the church, but she had grown old and bent and much of life had lost its luster. Unfortunately, while she seemed to like the pastor, she was soon noticeably absent on Sundays. One day he stopped in to visit with this lady, and she revealed that she was not going to come to church any more because since the pastor had arrived, the service length was causing her to be ten minutes late to lunch. She registered her complaint without much grace or care for the young pastor who had come by to check on her, and he left feeling discouraged. God was doing all of these great things in the church, yet all this church member could think about was her lunch. In truth, her complaint wasn’t really about the pastor.

We are all inclined to be just as stiff-necked as a bunch of wandering Israelites. We say we want God to work, but then when He begins working in ways that we don’t expect, we are likely to begin grumbling against our pastors. Even when there is clear evidence among us that God is showing His power, we tend to be annoyed by the way our pastors and leaders do this or that. We get together in little groups and we whisper about what we think they should be doing differently. Could it be that when we think we are complaining about our own leaders, we are actually grumbling against the Lord?

Make no mistake: if a pastor or leader is leading in a way that isn’t biblical, if they are teaching things that are contrary to God’s word, then we must hold each other accountable. As a church, we are called to spur each other on toward holiness, and we are committed to making sure that we are all living and operating according to His word. But first, stop. And think long and hard. And pray for wisdom. Consider whether you have legitimate, biblically-based concerns about your pastor. Pray about it much more than you talk about it. See if God doesn’t reveal to you that your real complaint isn’t about your pastor at all, but about God and how He is working. Wait and find out whether you are trying to be God’s armchair quarterback.

We’ve all done it. And we’ll all do it again. God doesn’t need our help or our suggestions in running the universe. Our pastors need encouragement and a willingness among the church to go wherever the Lord leads. Church leaders need fewer complainers and more workers. They need less grumbling and more praying. Save the armchair quarterbacking for that game that you had to DVR because the pastor’s sermon went a little long. And, by all means, thank the Lord for that late lunch and for pastors and leaders who fear God more than men. They are the means through which God will change the world.

Always Wanting More

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It’s a common theme in women’s ministry: Don’t play the comparison game. Don’t compare yourself to others, we often say, because you are great just the way you are. You are devaluing yourself, we claim, when you don’t think you’re as awesome as the woman who lives up the street. In most cases, when the comparison problem comes up, we think of it in terms of what we are saying about ourselves, and we pat each other and we coach and we say, Don’t do that to yourself.

But, I would argue that there is a bigger issue at stake than our own self-esteem. We aren’t just devaluing ourselves when we compare. We are turning another woman into an ideal to be possessed. We are looking at our own friends and neighbors and wanting what they have. There’s a name for that. It’s coveting.

We don’t generally think of coveting in terms of other human beings. We think of houses and cars and fat bank accounts. Yet, even in scripture when God gives the Ten Commandments to Moses, He specifically directs men not to covet their neighbor’s wife. God is speaking in terms of a man wanting to have someone else’s wife for his own. But how is it really any different to look at another man’s wife and wish that we had her legs? Or her hair? Or her talents and abilities? Think of how many women we see on a daily basis that cause an ache inside of us because we wish we could steal parts of them for our own?

The problem with comparison isn’t that we don’t think enough of ourselves. It’s that we think too much of ourselves. We want more glory. More attention. And we have swallowed this world’s lie that the way to get all of those things that we want is to be physically beautiful with talent to spare.

The world is always going to try its best to wrestle our minds away from what is true and right. It’s going to try to tell us that we aren’t enough and that we should want more than we have been given. It is trying to breed dissatisfaction in a heart that has already been perfectly satisfied by the Savior. Why do we continue to listen so intently to the noise?

In Christianity, we get the benefit of a sacred sisterhood–women who know and love our Savior, who are running this race with us, arm in arm. It would be a terrible thing to let our coveting pull each other down into the mire. Let your sister flourish in her gifts. Don’t envy her the things that God has given her. She is so much more than legs and hair and talents, and so are you. Trust the Lord in what He gives and in what He doesn’t. Rest in a satisfied heart and stop letting the world tell you that you need anything more than Jesus. He is enough.

Don’t Become Weary in Doing Good

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She is a gifted artist who has traveled all over the world, painting beauty as she saw it, an easel dug into the sand on a beach someplace or perched at the top of a hill overlooking a quaint Italian village. She is a singer, a guitarist, a devoted mother and wife, a meticulous dresser with a penchant for wearing berets. She is up in years now, but you wouldn’t guess it when you watch her bebop around the church, a smile always on her face. Enthusiasm seems to come easy for her, and it is contagious–her encouragement and her effortless laugh brighten the spaces she inhabits. She isn’t loud, but she is always there, and her expression says that she is pleased to show up, delighted to be a part of it all, this life and this church and this weary world.

I sat with her earlier this week and learned a stunning fact. This dear woman with so much life in her has been teaching preschoolers in our church for 56 years. Let that sink in. She started wrangling preschoolers in what we call “the basement” of our church in 1962. And today, on any given Sunday, if you descend the steps to that bright and cheery spot where preschoolers wriggle and giggle and get their first taste of who God is and what He does, you will find her there, singing and crafting and loving someone else’s babies just because the Lord has given her a great gift for it.

I can’t think of a better example of one who refuses to grow weary in doing good.

When rewards are handed out in Heaven, I wonder if, alongside the great preachers and evangelists, alongside the martyrs and the missionaries, there won’t be a whole congregation of women who spent a lifetime pouring God’s love into little spirits and hearts and minds. Women who determined that, while they could do many things for the Lord, they would not neglect the care and keeping and spiritual formation of those little babies who need to know just how much Jesus Christ adores them. Women who didn’t give up. Women who determined that even when they were weary, they would not, could not stop doing good for the kingdom of the Most High God. Even in the basement. Even for 56 years.

If you are one of those women, God sees you. What you are doing matters.

Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap the harvest if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9

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