Your Mom Has A Blog

Three Words

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She was nervous. It was first-day-back jitters–the kind where you wonder if your friend circle has shifted over the summer without your knowledge. When you’re not entirely sure how things are going to be when you walk through the school doors. I remember that feeling so well. Eighth grade is not a place I would ever want to be again. I hugged her tight in our cozy kitchen.

When I was younger I used to wonder what I would say to my children as we parted ways for the day. Back then, when they were all in our little nest, underfoot all day long, my buddies, it was hard to imagine what it would be like to send them out into the world. And then the world changed. How could I have possibly dreamed up THIS world, this place where my 13 year old, even with no access to social media or the internet, deals daily with kids her own age who are questioning their sexuality, who are suicidal or self-harming, who are already beginning to struggle with addictions, who have no frame of reference for who Jesus is or how things could be different? This, in small town America. The world has certainly shifted right underneath our feet.

All of those little phrases I used to imagine saying to my kids as they skipped off to school just don’t seem sufficient in the spiritual and moral turmoil of our day. In the lostness. In the wandering. So, this morning when my first-born stepped out of the car for her last first day of junior high school, I looked into her beautiful, clear blue eyes and said with a little smile, “Just honor God.”

It’s the most we can ask of each other.

It’s what we must ask of our believing children. And it’s what they should be able to see in us. These are days for courageous obedience. For fierce faithfulness. For total surrender.

“Just honor God,” I told her, and she nodded, turned, and disappeared into the crowded hallways of her mission field.

Being the Church

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A few days ago, we drove east, until the modest, stubby mesquite trees of west Texas gave way to the majestic, fragrant pines that hide the horizon and cover the eastern part of the state with lush greenery. We were home. Well, one of our homes. It was the first church that took a chance on a starving artist, turned attorney, turned pastor. This is where we remembered that life is fun, where our sweet church taught us what it looks like to be selfless, to be generous, to be patient. These people took us in and loved us well when we moved here ten years ago. And now, five years removed from these precious friends, we drove there again this past week to honor the life of a dear church member who had encouraged us many times through the years.

In the funeral home’s hallway, I rounded the corner to find a chapel filled with dear old friends, people we adore and miss terribly. I listened as one of Sawyer’s preschool teachers told me how attentive he was as a toddler, how he would intently listen as she taught and then he would open his baby mouth and ask deep questions. We talked about how he has such a tender heart toward the Lord, and I got the rare opportunity to hug her and thank her for the years she invested in him, for the ways that she helped to nurture a sensitivity to the Spirit that I see in him today.

I watched as friend after friend approached our children, exclaiming about how much they have grown. I reminisced with an 86 year old who had made sure, six years ago, that she was the very first person to come to our house to hold Emerald after she was born. One of our favorites, a tall, white-haired friend who used to keep Chad company in the front seat of the church bus while he drove all over the countryside, walked into the room, and we heard about some of the many sorrows that he has endured in the time since we’ve been away.  Still, he smiled, he hugged us, and he commented on the kids’ freckles. He has always loved freckles.

And then, as the service ended and it was time for us to say goodbye to our dear ones all over again, I walked out of the chapel arm in arm with a sweet friend who used to invite us to her home where she and her husband showed us old pictures and their beautiful glassware and made us fried catfish just for fun. One night we sat with them, just sat with them and ate hamburgers when their son passed away. We just wanted to be close to them. We sat and ate hamburgers and reminded each other that God is good. As we walked out of the funeral home, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “You didn’t know it, but you saved our lives that night.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. It was such a precious reminder that, in the church, God has gifted us with the sweetest opportunity to experience all the joys and sorrows of life with each other. To sit together and eat hamburgers when every word you think of saying seems wrong. To sit together in solidarity, knowing that even tragedy can’t break our faith, that no unexpected heartache can loosen God’s grip on us. To sit together, remembering that Christ is enough. He is always enough.

I know we have many more moments like this ahead of us. Times when we will just hunker down with loved ones right in the middle of a hurricane of heartache. And there will be times when dear friends will do the same for us. This is the church. This is one of the many reasons that we need each other. And, I am so thankful that I got to go “home” this week so that I could be reminded that we are called to give all of ourselves to each other.

As we made our way back west, the sky opened up again. The gorgeous pinks and oranges of the sunset cast a funny hue on the wide horizon. I smiled as I watched our beloved hometown come into view. This is where we belong. This is where we are called to give ourselves away. This is where the rich, beautiful blessings of the church continue to pour out on our little family. I’m thankful.

Don’t Miss the Intimate Moments in Your Marriage

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In the Christian world, we often hear talk about the importance of intimacy in marriage. Most of the time, intimacy is presented as something you have to work hard to achieve, and there’s no doubt that we can ruin lots of opportunities for intimacy with our pride, selfishness, or oblivious attitudes. But, the truth is that your marriage is absolutely filled with intimate moments.

Think of a mother who is up at night with her new baby. She is sitting in a dark room with her little charge, and no one else in the world is privy to the moment they are having. She looks at her baby and is awed by the privilege of being here, even though she is exhausted, sharing this quiet moment with her child. Even the bad nights bond them. Even the sicknesses and the crying for no apparent reason and the worry and the frustration breeds intimacy here in the night, when she alone can be his mother. And when her eyes are so heavy that she can hardly believe she is upright, still she holds her baby and stretches her hand all the way across his tiny back, vowing that she will never forget how this feels, this honor. This gift.

Now think about how many moments you have with your spouse that are private, concealed from the rest of the world. Wives, think about the opportunities you have to be for your husband what only you can be. Think about how many moments you live sharing close spaces, sleeping in the same bed, witnessing all the quirks and habits. Think about how many memories you share. Husbands, do you ever consider how special it is that you can touch your wife’s body in ways that no one else can? Or that you see her stepping out of the shower? Do you think about what a privilege it is to sit with him while he grieves a loss or to reassure him when he has lost his confidence? Do you cherish the fact that you can hold him close at night? That you know what she wears to bed? That you have memorized his breathing as you lie there together, night after night?

Intimate moments are all around you. Moments that are closed off from the rest of the world. When I look back on the past nineteen years of marriage, it’s the intimate moments that mean the most to me–moments that most people wouldn’t think twice about. Yet, all of those moments are always there, underpinning our connection to each other. Not every intimate moment is a pleasant one. Just like a mother dealing with her screaming child, sometimes a husband and a wife will experience intimately difficult times. But, intimacy comes through hardship and pain as much as through joy and pleasure. In fact, intimacy, believe it or not, is just a natural result of living life together. But, only if we stop to recognize and appreciate it.

Don’t overlook the intimate moments in your marriage. They are the ones you’ll miss when your spouse is gone–the simple ways that two people move with and around each other when they are sharing a life. If we will only realize how special it is to wake up next to another person. To lie down next to him at night. To share laughs and tears and meaningful looks across crowded rooms. This is the very intimacy that we are looking for. It’s right here, if only we will see it.

41 Years Old

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Tomorrow I will officially turn 41 years old. I recently heard another blogger talking about how when she turned 41 she decided she was going to do all the things that she wanted to do but had always been too afraid for. She woke up at 41 and completely changed her life. Then she wrote her book and she got on all the talk shows. It’s been fun to watch it all unfold, spying on her life from a distance, seeing a whole bunch of her dreams come true.

Tomorrow I will wake up early and meet a swarm of sweet kids at the church parking lot to head to camp. I’ll get on stage and jump around and sing and I’ll dance in my awkward way, and the day will be long and Texas summer hot and oddly fun. I’m not expecting any revelations when I wake up as a 41-year-old. Here I am, with a blog that has lulled through the summer and a book that is still unwritten, dishes waiting patiently in my sink, three kids who are trying to deny the fact that school will soon be starting. Here I sit, still not reading my Bible enough, still praying too little, still fearing too much, still letting the same old sins creep up on me while I get distracted by all the things that don’t matter.

But, God never quits being patient with me. He is patient like the dishes in my sink. Like the laundry in my baskets. He is patient like that book that is still in my brain. Only with his unending patience comes compassion, understanding, and great love. He has shown me again and again through these decades marked by my imperfection that his grace never stops covering me. He is good. And his goodness keeps binding my wandering heart to my Savior.

There are so many ways I wish I were different. But, one thing I know for sure: Jesus never quits. He never stops saving me from myself. He never throws up his hands in despair and walks away. Blogs and books and even families fade and pass away, but His grip on me is sure.

So, I guess instead of deciding that year 41 will be the year that I finally do all those things that need doing, I will pray that this will be a year of remembering instead that nothing in this wide and wonderful world matters more than the love of Christ. The fact that he would stoop to love me is a miracle that I hope I never get over. Let all that I do in year 41 be for you alone, Lord. You deserve all the glory forever.

Every Testimony is Dramatic and Miraculous

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My Christian testimony is what many would call vanilla. I came to know Christ when I was eight years old. My family was something straight out of a 1950s sitcom–hardworking father, loving stay-at-home mother, two kids and a dog. We were deeply involved in the church that my parents grew up in, and I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t love Jesus or didn’t want to live according to His word.

It’s true that when junior high school hit I didn’t always make the best decisions. I tried out some different personas for short periods of time. But, for the most part, God has kept me on an extremely short leash. Anything I tried was immediately found out and punished. I felt humiliated by my sin, and was known during my growing up years as a “good girl.”

I went to college and didn’t experience any kind of trauma or drunken mistakes or shocking revelations. By God’s grace I made sweet Christian friends and we lived for the Lord as well as we knew how at the time. I married Chad, and he has helped lead me closer to Christ as the years have gone on.

I have no dramatic background story or miraculous turnaround to speak of. I don’t have one of those testimonies that make people say to one another, “You have GOT to hear what God has done in her life.” No, my story is simple and may not seem all that profound or even interesting at first glance.

But, the truth is that every single Christian testimony is dramatic and miraculous.

I may not remember a time when I didn’t love Jesus, but it is there in my history–a period when I was 100% dead in my sins, as dead as Lazarus in the grave. And then the Lord called out to me, and I heard His voice. How much more dramatic and miraculous can a story get? I was once dead, and now I am alive! I was bound for hell, and Jesus snatched me out of the clutches of eternal torment. May we never be guilty of seeing that kind of saving grace as ordinary or humdrum. It is the very power and love and goodness of God on display in a dramatic way, even when we forget it and we start to feel inferior to all of those with the fascinating and drama-filled testimonies.

God has worked a stunning miracle in my life. I don’t know why He has protected me from so many heartaches, but I’m grateful. If you also have an undramatic testimony, know this: there is nothing basic or boring about the life-transforming power of our Lord Jesus Christ. The angels throw a party every time someone comes to Christ, and the parties aren’t less enthusiastic for the freckle-faced eight year olds. Salvation is never small. It is big and dramatic and miraculous, every single time.

Let’s never forget what Jesus has done.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Ephesians 2:1-5

The Importance of a Biblical Worldview, and a Study Bible That Will Help You Form One

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The world we live in is confusing. Things that once seemed black and white now look more gray. We are constantly hearing voices via the internet and other media sources that tell us things that are directly opposed to what the Bible teaches. Yet, those things are often packaged in such legitimate-sounding rhetoric that it can be difficult to sort through what is true and what isn’t. If ever there was a time in history when a biblical worldview is essential to our faith, this is it.

The study of God’s word is the only way to begin to see the world through the lens of scripture. Trevin Wax and David Dockery are the editors of a brand new Bible called the CSB Worldview Study Bible, and they assembled a team of over a hundred contributors, many of whom are names that you will recognize. Some of the most respected and sought after teachers of Scripture have filled this Bible with notes and articles that are designed to help you form a Christian worldview.

The editors explain what they hope to accomplish:

Those who have worked together over the past five years to bring together this project join us in praying that the Lord will use this reference work to help Christians hear afresh the words of Jesus from what is known as the Great Commandment (Mt. 22:36-40). In this passage, we learn that Jesus calls on his followers to love God not only with hearts and souls, but also with our minds. The words of Jesus refer to a wholehearted devotion to God with every aspect of our being, from whatever angle we choose to consider it–emotionally, volitionally, or cognitively. This kind of love for God results in taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Co. 10:5), a total devotion to Christian thinking and living. We pray that the CSB Worldview Study Bible will serve Christians well, enabling them to see life from a Christian vantage point, thinking with the mind of Christ.

The truth is that the future of our world is bleak except for the hope of Jesus Christ. What if we began to see Christians with a total devotion to Christian thinking and living? According to Wax and Dockery this is the definition of a Christian worldview. Jesus defined it best when he called us to love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. Imagine how it would change us, change our culture, and impact eternity if we began to process the world around us with the mind of Christ?

What I like about this Bible is that every book begins with a summary of the Christian worldview elements that are addressed. It’s the kind of commentary that you might get from a sermon, only you can get this insight in your personal study times. These sections help you to focus on truths about God and the way that He works, important doctrinal points, and the deeper principles of passages that we might otherwise miss.

Each book’s introduction also includes a helpful timeline of events to help you see how all of it fits together. And, aside from the study notes within the scripture, the real jewel of this Bible is the countless essays written by various thinkers including Russell Moore, Al Mohler, and many others, which focus on a wide variety of Christian worldview issues.  “A Christian Worldview of Art,” for instance. “Biblical Models for Business.” “Is Gender a Choice?” “How Should Christians Relate to Government?” There are so many fascinating and informative choices for learning among these essays, and all are written from a conservative, biblical perspective.

I would also add that if you haven’t tried the Christian Standard Bible version, it’s very readable. I grew up with an NIV and have frequently used the ESV in recent years, but this version is accurate and easy to understand. It’s an original translation taken from the ancient texts (not from another English version), and it is translated into modern English. Give the CSB a try, and I think you’ll enjoy using it as a personal study Bible.

The CSB Worldview Study Bible is an excellent choice for Christians who are wanting to understand what is happening in our world, letting God’s word inform our thinking instead of all of the other words that fly at us all day on the internet. There are plenty of voices out there trying to deliver their “truth.” This Bible helps us focus on the only Truth–the inspired words of God.

You can find the CSB Worldview Study Bible here. The Kindle edition is here.

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I received a copy of this Bible in exchange for my honest review.

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A Plea to Parents

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I have had a heavy burden lately for families. So many families are struggling, breaking apart, buckling under the weight of sin and pride and foolish independence and selfish love that turns out not to be love at all. And then there are the families where everything seems grand, where baseball and camping and dance classes crowd out the greatness of real communion with God’s people, where parents maintain a casual association with the church while their children learn and re-learn and truly believe that Jesus has no place in this oh-so-comfortable life.

More and more in all types of families I see parents who claim to be Christians yet don’t see the need or importance of doing all they can to make sure that their own precious children escape the clutches of hell and find victory over sin and death. It makes my heart pound, the sheer terror of it, that idea that I should receive forgiveness of sin and my children should face the terrible wrath of a holy God. It ought to terrify all of us, the idea of our loved ones living and dying without knowing the perfect love, mercy, and salvation of the Lord.

I implore you, parents. Examine yourself. If you do not feel a sense of urgency in the training and spiritual development of your children, if you do not provide them with a church family and teach them God’s word, if you do not feel utter devastation at the thought of them living without Christ and dying without hope, then you have no reason to feel assured of your own salvation. It’s possible that you were made to believe at some point in your past that you had a true encounter with Jesus, but you actually only had an emotional experience with no real repentance or faith in the Lord.

It is reasonable to deduce that a true follower of Christ could not and would not fail to teach her own children how to become Christians.

If your family’s life is ruled by the things of this world instead of the things of God, if you find yourself rarely or never engaging your children in spiritual conversations, if you have let other activities take precedence over church attendance, if your children see no real need or place for Jesus in your world, you need to stop right now and seek the Lord. You need to consider whether you really know Him and whether His Holy Spirit has changed your heart of stone to a heart of flesh. (Ez. 36:26) You need to remember that Jesus said that anyone who causes a little one to stumble would be better off with a millstone tied around his neck, drowned in some bottomless ocean. (Luke 17:2) You need to consider the words of Christ when He declared that the greatest commandment is Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. (Matt. 22:36-38)

“Christian” means something more than liking some of the things Jesus had to say. This faith is all-consuming and utterly transforming. If your faith is more like an occasional identifier than a life-altering relationship, then it is possible that you don’t really know Jesus at all. It’s possible that you are going to hell and you are dragging your children there with you.

Consider the condition of your soul.  Contemplate whether you are leading your children through the wide gate and down the broad the road that leads to destruction. Scripture tells us that the way is narrow that leads to life. Few find it. (Matt. 17:13-14) Have you? Will your children? Pray that today will be the day of salvation.

What Women Want

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Today I have a new post up over at SBC Voices. When I write things for other sites I like to bring them to you here because y’all are my people and you are so kind to take an interest in what I’m writing, wherever it may be.

Although this piece is about some issues that Southern Baptists are thinking through at the moment, I feel sure that what I’m proposing here applies across denominational lines. Please check it out here!

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