In The Morning

Being a parent is tough sometimes. Things happen that shatter your heart into a million pieces. This is one of those times.

About a month ago, Adelade got an adorable and sweet kitten for her birthday. Some of you have seen that incredible video of her finding out about the kitten. She cried happy tears. The next day we went to pick him up. He was all white, except for little patches of orange on his ears and tail. He was tiny, by far the smallest of his litter, and he was sweet and cuddly and cute.

Adelade brought him home (and his brother, Sawyer’s cat). She made a little bed for them out of a diaper box. She made a welcome mat to lay at the opening, and put both cats’ names on the inside. She taped yarn to the top of the box so that it would hang down in a convenient place for the kitties to play whenever they felt like it. She spent many hours in the garage with the kittens, making sure their heat lamp shone on the perfect spot in their bed. Trying out different toys on them to see what they liked. Cuddling her little kitten as much as possible. Making a list of all the things one might need in order to take care of a kitten. Taking her kitten outside to run through the grass with him on pretty days.

Praying for him when we realized he was sick.

Actually, both kittens were sick when got them. We took them to our good friend who is a vet, she checked them over and gave them a couple of shots and an antibiotic to take at home. We continued to take care of them. They didn’t get better. So, we took them back to our friend, more testing, more medicine, and Sawyer’s kitten started growing like crazy, getting fat, and looking healthy. But, Adelade’s little runt of the litter seemed skinnier. He just couldn’t get over it. This morning he seemed like he didn’t feel all that great. After school today, I gave him a bath and Adelade carried him around for a long time afterward, saying she couldn’t bear to put him down because he seemed so happy. And he did. By tonight he very suddenly got weak and died while Chad and I sat with him, talked to him, and tried to make him warm and comfortable. He was a really sweet cat.

And now I sit on the couch, thinking of my worried girl who went to bed with tears because her kitty was sick. Knowing that in the morning I have to wake her with the news that her little kitten is dead.

And I feel like my heart is going to explode.

We’ve already rehearsed what we’ll say. We know she’ll learn something about life and death, but I hate those kinds of lessons. I know she’ll be okay, but I hate seeing her cry. I know we can get her another kitten, but this one really was perfect for her.

I really liked that kitten. Adelade adored him. Being a parent is tough sometimes.