I’ve been having one of THOSE days. One of those UGH and sigh and Oh-no-you-DIDN’T kind of days. One of those days that is filled with gritted teeth and pounding head and not nearly enough smiling. You know the kind.
Every time I have a day like this I end the day feeling alarmed and ashamed and grateful.
Alarmed because a bad attitude is a reflection of what is happening in my heart. When I am gritting my teeth and barely putting up with people (even people I dearly love) and daydreaming about knocking some heads together, I am keenly aware that my heart is ailing. I am far from my center, Christ. I am failing to love like He does. And I’m giving in to my own selfish desire to be appreciated more or to accomplish more or to love myself more than I love others. The bells and whistles are going off in my spirit, and I know that I am so out of tune with God, which makes me SO out of tune with others.
Ashamed because, as Chad often says, some people have real problems. While I am ready to cry over my messy kitchen and clinging baby and rude people and wasted time and a mediocre dinner made by yours truly and, of course, piles of laundry, others are dealing with death, illness, poverty, homelessness, abuse, addiction, and lostness. Oh my. What kind of foolish girl with a wonderful family, a cozy house, an amazing church, a gorgeous and caring husband, and incredible children would DARE to have a bad attitude when there is so much suffering in this world?
Grateful because I have a Father in Heaven, a Savior, and a Comforter who offers peace in a chaotic world, love when I don’t deserve it, and the power to glorify the Designer of the Universe even in my extreme weakness. He can help me love others even when they are on my last nerve. The fact that He can empower and sometimes use someone like me is evidence that He really is a miracle worker.
And now I choose to banish my bad attitude, to be happy despite all my own flaws and the flaws of others, and to remember that God is blessing all the time. And when I am facing REAL problems, He will still be blessing. I pray I will refrain from knocking heads together and will love, love, love. The Beatles got that one right. All you need is love. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. That’s totally what they meant by that, right?
I choose love. “I love you” sounds so much nicer than “UGH.” And “I forgive you” is far superior to “No, you DIDN’T!” Bad attitude, be gone. All I need is God’s love, and if everything else in life looks like a total mess, I can be sure that His love is perfect, and He is working in His perfect way in my messy, imperfect life.