This week I’ve been with Chad at a preaching conference. As you might imagine, at a Baptist conference for preachers, there weren’t too many women around. In fact, although I think there were two other women there, in some sessions I was the only woman in the room. One room was filled to capacity, and men were standing against the wall or sitting on the floor. Chad and I came in and found a spot on the floor, but as soon as the opening prayer was over, a white-headed pastor stood and offered me his seat. I tried to refuse, but he smiled at me sincerely and said, “Ma’am, I could not sit there while you are sitting on the floor.” Everywhere I looked I saw men seeking God earnestly, great men who love Christ and love His church, men who are doing their best to give their best to the Savior. It was inspiring, to say the least.
I heard amazing preaching. I was moved to tears more than once. I sat and listened as an 84 year old pastor spoke: “YOU are your message,” he told them. “You have to live what you preach.” And, I felt that truth deeply as I sat there, wondering how well that I live out my own words, written to you. My message falls short at times. I fall short.
It would be difficult for me to express to you, really, how much this conference meant to me. What it did for my heart and soul and mind. It would be hard to explain how important it was for Chad and me to be there together, even though I may have been a little out of place. In two and a half days, we heard eleven amazing sermons. We heard theories of persuasion, discussions about rhetorical strategies and proper exegesis. We heard some of the best teaching on studying the scripture that I’ve ever heard.
And, the entire time, I wondered why these aren’t the kinds of things that I hear at women’s conferences.
Now, I get it. It was an event for pastors. The average women’s conference would not need a break-out session about the best use of illustrations in sermons. But, which of us wouldn’t benefit from learning, step-by-step, how to read Scripture? How to outline a passage that we read so that we actually understand it? Which of us doesn’t need to hear the importance of serious Bible study and practical ways to go through a book of the Bible? Which one of us women would not be changed forever by an entire weekend of instruction in studying our Bibles, since this is where real life change happens? This is the only way for us to BE the message of Scripture–we have to KNOW what that message is first.
The truth is that someone out there doesn’t expect that women would show up for that kind of conference. And, I guess that’s a question we have to ask ourselves: would we? Are we satisfied with women’s event after women’s event that insists that women need only to talk about our feelings and get tips on the best way to make a chore chart for our kids? Would we rather go to women’s events just to hear speakers tell us how great we are, how we’re doing fine, how beautiful we are? Would we jump at the chance to go to a seminary someplace for a weekend, just to listen to a bunch of men teach us how to understand what the Holy Spirit is communicating to us in the Scripture?
That is the kind of women’s conference that most of us need.
Are we up to it?
There’s plenty of talk in the church today about families. Revolutionize the families for Christ, and you revolutionize the church for Christ, we say. But, we mamas are struggling. Struggling to figure out how to teach our kids the truth. Struggling to figure out what the answers are to all of these confusing questions that the world is throwing at our little families. Struggling to know which way is right. Struggling to figure out how to keep on the narrow way. And, one reason we’re struggling is because women are continuously given a steady diet of spiritual milk. It’s hard to get strong enough to carry the spiritual load for you and your babies when you are malnourished. It’s hard to teach your family when you aren’t even sure of what you know yourself.
We need doctrine. We need theology. We need clear instruction in studying the Scripture. We need less self-focus and more God-focus. We need to be expected to study. We need to be encouraged to grow.
This is a tough time in history to be a Christian wife and mother. The advice pours in from every direction, and most of it is contrary to God’s word. How will we train up our children in the way they should go? How will we know which way is right? How will we live out the message of Scripture? How will we ever really know who God is and grow in our love for Him?
Only if the church begins to recognize that we need more than afternoon teas and parenting classes. I love afternoon teas and have learned plenty from parenting classes, but where is the teaching that challenges us to know what we believe? Why are the men learning theology while the women eat salad and make crafts?
Something has to change. It starts with me and you. It starts in our churches. It starts with a few women deciding that they want to dive deep into His word and not come up again until they have found the spiritual ribeye that every woman needs, even if she doesn’t know it. It’s time.
I so look forward to reading your posts at the end of my day, and this one certainly did not disappoint! Sounds like a great conference and a wonderful time for you and Chad!
Thanks so much, Laura!
I always enjoy reading your blog. Interestingly this one was very timely. We have a powerful men and boy’s retreat each year called Kingdom Man, that Chad and Sawyer have been a part of. This May we will have another one which promises to be amazing. It is on my heart to plan and organize one for women and girls and has been suggested by several ladies recently. Please be praying about that for us here at Solid Rock- and keep up the great blogs! Sam Harris
Sam, this sounds like a great idea! Our guys always get a lot out of the Kingdom Man weekends! Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Melissa, have you considered the Simeon Trust workshops? They have workshops specifically for women in learning to teach the Word and they really challenge you to dig deep. My wife attended one led by Kathleen Nielsen and I attended one led by Kent Hughes. They teach the principles of faithful Bible exposition in all the genres of Scripture.
I applaud your post and wonder why even some men are also satisfied by reading about techniques and tips and going to movies, and then call that Men’s Ministry.
Matt, I actually just heard someone talking about Simeon Trust this weekend. I’m definitely going to look into those! Thanks!
would you mind telling me what conference you and your husband were at?
Ross, we were at the Text-Driven Preaching Conference at Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas.
Thank you, Melissa. For forty years I’ve come away from women’s events feeling hungry. Blessed by the fellowship, inspired, even motivated, but hungry.
Alice, I always enjoy women’s events and conferences. There’s lots of great stuff about them. I just want them to go deeper. Thanks for understanding what I mean!
Yes! Maybe if we were a little more in love with Scripture, cherished it like women in wartime read and re-read letters from the front, maybe we’d be packing out those meaty conferences, too. I’m in!
Yes, Catherine!
Melissa, I am glad you had a great time at the conf. you described, and sorry that you haven’t found the content you seek at the women’s confs. you have attended. I do have some concrete suggestions for you.
For the past 25 years I have been blessed by the Pepperdine U. Bible Lectures in Malibu, CA. Over 200 classes, many of them taught by women, with many of the classes made available at the U. website. Last May, N.T. Wright brought the keynote address and taught three classes there.
Further, you can find similar content and sisters teaching at the Abilene Christian Summitt in Sept. and the Lipscomb U. lectures in Nashville. Joel’s prophecy is still being fulfilled. I hope you and Chad will consider attending one of these Bible lectures. There is no $ charge to attend, and members of any church are welcome.
Thanks for the info, Wayne!
Amen! Even finding a proper Bible study for personal or group use has been difficult at times! There’s only so many times a woman wants to hear about being a princess/daughter of the King or getting rid of insecurity or “chocolate” for the soul, or “bad girls” of the Bible. We address so many issues in women’s conferences and studies, like insecurity and feeling loved and beautiful and mothering without stress, that would be addressed in a more soul-satisfying way if we were going for the heart of the issue, our lack of deep understanding and daily reliance on the teachings of Scripture. Love your blog! Glad you and your husband were edified by the conference!
Yes, Katie! I agree. Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Amen! Thank you for stating that which should be obvious but unfortunately is not at all obvious to the leaders of Women’s Ministry! I do think I am blessed to be in a church that does offer more than fluff for us of the female persuasion.
Keep up the good work on this blog, you keep me thinking.
Sandy, I think it’s one of those things that just sort of happened gradually, and now we don’t expect much more. But, we should! Thanks for reading and for your comment!
Wow and AMEN.
I could not agree more! After many tries, I have learned to skip most “new and popular” Christian books authored by women, because they all sound the same: “you’re beautiful, you’re a Princess, how to not be busy, how to enjoy you’re life, blah blah blah”! I get so tired of the fluff. I’ve found books written by a lot of Christian pastors on prayer, Christian living, etc to be so much meatier and not out of the realm of modern women. We are capable of so much deeper reading and study!! I’ve grown so much by those books!
We have this available world wide through Bible Study Fellowship!!! The focus is on diving into the Word, doctrine and personal application of studying one book of the Bible for 9 months a year with believers and seekers from all ethnicities and church denominations. Check it out at
Bsfinternational.com!!!❤
Tami, I was just going to mention BSF. I have been in it for 13 years and loved every minute of it. I have been in Bible studies all my life, but Bible Study Fellowship has taught me so much. We are taught to pull out meaning of Scripture for ourselves. There are classes all over the world and we all study the same thing. This year we are studying John.
Amen! Bible Study Fellowship is awesome!! It is a commitment worth making. Thorough teaching of Gods Word. Groups are put together so those just learning to study are not overwhelmed. I would also say any Anne Graham Lotz study would not disappoint. She is Billy Grahams daughter. Beth Moore, Ptoverbs 31 with Lisa Tuerkirst sp??, Priscilla Schirer, Tony Evans daughter;
Thanks, ladies! Yes, I have done BSF before and really enjoyed it! 🙂
Amen!! I love this so much!
What a great article thank you so much for writing it. It spoke a great deal to me.