Once an old friend posted something on Facebook. I thought I knew why she posted it. I was fairly certain I understood her motive behind it, and I didn’t like it much. So, I hopped right over to her page and proceeded to leave a strongly worded comment that essentially made her look like she didn’t know what she was talking about.
My adrenaline was flowing. I felt like it was my duty to call her on what she had said. And, I wrote what I would never have said if she were sitting in front of me.
A few minutes later, she wrote me a private message. She was hurt. She was embarrassed. She was shocked that I would do that to her. And, when she explained the circumstances behind what she had written, they were nothing like I had imagined. Her motives had been pure. Her mission had been to glorify God. And, I had come along and made the whole thing look silly to the very people she was trying to reach.
Of course, I apologized. She was right when she said that I should’ve messaged her privately if I had something to say about it. I had acted hastily, and with nothing but assumptions to guide me.
Since that time, I have tried to be careful to maintain one rule in my dealings with people on the internet, whether they’re friends or total strangers. I try not to say anything that I wouldn’t say to someone across the dinner table.
Just try it sometime. It’s amazing how often I start typing something and then end up deleting it after asking myself, “Would I say this face to face?”
It’s a good rule of thumb for Christians on the internet, because I’m convinced that most of us don’t make it our goal to be mean or rude.
Granted, there are plenty of times when Christians need to speak out, especially when we see heresy, but I’m convinced we can do it in ways that aren’t humiliating, degrading, or nasty. Let’s be the ones to set the tone on the internet; instead of reacting, we can remain calm and well-reasoned without letting our emotions rule how we deal with people.
Even on the internet, wouldn’t it be great if the world could look at our comments and see that we are just different?
This “assuming” thing can end up embarrassing someone or even getting someone in trouble. I was in a GoodWill store a while back and I SAW, I REALLY SAW, a woman looking at something that was orange, maybe a curtain, then she shoved it into a plastic container (like comforters, etc. come in) with things that were more of a hot pink color. I kept looking and might have even thought about letting her SEE me looking at her. I was in a fix. I finally went and talked to an employee that I knew, (I didn’t give her all the details) but she may not have been allowed to do anything about it. I was finally able to walk by the woman’s shopping cart and read a note that was on the plastic packaging, describing the contents, and the word “orange” stood out to me. Yes, that set contained something orange, along with whatever else was included. What if I had confronted that woman, accusing her of what I really saw? Now, I think what would have changed my “assumption” would be that had I seen her take the orange out, look at it, THEN shove it back in the package! Even though I saw what I saw, I had missed an important part of the scene. Thanks be to God that I didn’t say anything to her!
Such a good reminder.