It’s our last night at camp, and while I’m sad to see the fun end, I’m also thrilled to know that at this time tomorrow I will be in my own bed. Today it dawned on me how fragile kids can be when I saw Sawyer come close to shedding a tear over the lack of cinnamon on his churro at dinner. The boys loves his churros. He drooled over it all through his dinner, just waiting to gobble it up, and then with the first bite he realized it was not up to his standards. He was terribly disappointed. But, I’m sure somehow a mediocre churro is a character builder.
Speaking of which, this afternoon we went out to the zip line to watch some kids conquer their fears and fly out over the west Texas dirt. As each one of them made the shaky climb up the pole to the rickety platform, adults on the ground were shouting encouragement. You can do it! You’ve got this! they hollered, which seemed pretty easy to say from their firm positions on the ground. And, each time a kid got to the top of the pole and stood looking out over the field in front of them, they wore expressions of panic. Sometimes they would close their eyes and jump. But, more often than not, the kind and funny fellow who was running it would say something like, Say night-night, and would gently bump them off of the platform.
It was such a perfect picture of basically everything I’ve ever done in life that was a calling from God. I tend to get pumped about something, get right to the point of actually going through with it, and then start panicking and looking for a way to back out. And, then God, in His gentle and wise way, gives me a push that sends me soaring, however ungracefully, into a new endeavor where I have to depend on Him during every heart-thudding moment.
I’m facing one of those times now. I’m on the edge of the platform, and I’m leaning out there. But, it just looks too high. It looks like it’s going to be dangerous and terrifying and that it will defy everything that makes sense in my head, which is keeping both feet planted firmly on the ground. But, I know that soon the bump is coming. The gentle push that sends me plummeting into a whole new thing that God is doing.
I’m not going to lie. I’m a little bit panicked.
But, here’s what I know. He built this platform. He doesn’t need ropes and pulleys and safety harnesses because He is all of those things. He can hold me up with one word from His mouth. All of the safety and assurance and guidance I’ll ever need is in Him. And, He is the soft place to land.
In a world where sometimes churros just don’t have enough cinnamon, it’s good to know that God still has big plans. He knows when to push and when to catch. And, He doesn’t just shout encouragement from the ground, either. He never shoves us off of a platform that He hasn’t already leaped from Himself. That’s how incredible our God is.
The jump is coming. Or the shove. But, either way, I land in His arms.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15
Hi Melissa. I love this post. Needed to hear it very much. I am in that place too. Just let go 3 weeks ago from a job of 24 + years and feeling very lost. God has been asking me to trust him and I know that losing this job is part of the shoving off of the platform that you speak of. Praying that God will make clear to me what direction he wants me to go since my family is depending on me to do something and get back to some sort of income for our support. Wanted it to be my writing, but I have no idea how to make it happen. Keep on writing Melissa because this is definitely a gift of yours and it brings hope, insight, and inspiration to those who are blessed to read it. Praying for myself that God will give me guidance and inspiration to clearly see what he has for me to do in the coming days. Praying for you as well, that God will continue to direct you into his wonderful plans for you!
I hope that you don’t mind me sharing the following with you:
I long to lean into joy
To practice gratitude
Taking note of blessings
And dwelling on thanksgiving
To become a glass
Not as now, half empty
And not even half full
Instead, spilling over the rim
To walk away from dread
To run from the shoe drop
Living in the joy of each moment
Where simple things become defining
To truly feel adequate
Knowing that I am enough
The illusion of perfection a destroyer
Seeing myself through Christ’s eyes
Cast far away the falsehoods
Being vulnerable and real
Accepting my quirks and uniqueness
And loving others for the same
So when the little joys of life
Spring to life before my eyes
May I vanquish the stormy thoughts
Seeking to steal away these precious gifts
And when a heart of gratitude takes over
Then thanksgiving will begin to flower
Fearful heart will gain new strength
And the enemy’s lies will fall on deaf ears
So God please hear this fervent prayer
And grant this heartfelt wish
That I might become a man of gratitude
With thanksgiving in all that comes my way
Leaning into Joy – 12/06/12 – Mike Meehan
Mike, thank you so much for this comment. Praying that you find the direction you need. May we both remember that God is trustworthy!