In It Together

When I was a younger woman, I wanted a lot of things from Chad. I wanted him to be certain ways and do certain things and understand all of my unexpressed expectations. There’s something wonderful about gaining a few years’ experience and understanding more about the comforts of having a partner in life. As we have aged and grown in Christ, I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty of real, hand-in-hand, we’ll face it together partnership.

All marriages are tested eventually. Real life crashes into the sweet world you try to create together, and for us, it didn’t take long. I remember the day we realized that I was having my first miscarriage. We had been in the ER for some time, and a kind nurse came in and put a warm blanket on me and tucked it all around my arms and legs. I was shivering in that cold, sterile room and wanted to go home. We had just seen the ultrasound that confirmed what we feared. I looked over at Chad, and I could see that he desperately wanted to do something to ease the pain of that moment, and he was so glad that the nurse tucked me in with a warm blanket. I still remember how that blanket felt in combination with the expression on my young husband’s face. He was pensive, unsure, waiting to see how he could help me through this. It made an impression on me because I could see that, even though his experience of the miscarriage was very different from mine, we were in it together.

That’s what marriage is like. Almost everything that men and women experience together, we experience differently, but through patience and understanding, listening and talking, through expressing care in all the ways we can think of when we just don’t know how to help each other, we continually send the message, over and over again, through all kinds of trials and troubles: I’m here. We’re in this together.

It’s been one of the greatest blessings of my life. That doesn’t mean that either of us always manages to say or do just the right thing right when it’s needed, although sometimes we do. But facing the unknowns of every day with someone that I know will do all he can to stand beside me, hold me up, help me out, listen to me, and pick up the other side of my heaviest burdens just makes everything more face-able.

Now we’re growing older and we are starting a lot of new adventures. Our older children are growing up and our youngest is just starting out. I have no idea what our future holds or what God will ask us to walk through, but I do know that as long as Chad and I are on this earth, we’ll face it together. It’s not just a romantic notion—it’s one of the greatest blessings of marriage.