I know there will be no swimsuits in Heaven. None at all. Because Heaven is a place of joy, where there are no tears or sorrow. And, buying a swimsuit is all about mourning and great gnashing of teeth.
Today I was forced to go and shop for a swimsuit because we’re going swimming with the kids’ cousins in just a few days. Walking into a swimsuit department is like walking into a comedy club in some ways. I laugh a lot. I laugh at the the tiny squares of fabric. I laugh at the ridiculous prices. I laugh at the weird Hawaiian prints in strange colors. I even laugh about how the reason I wear clothes is so people WON’T know what I look like naked.
Yes, I laugh all the way to the dressing room, my arms loaded down with every single style in the store, just in case. And then I put 47 different swimsuits on and I laugh and laugh and laugh.
And just so you know, when I say “laugh,” I mean cry hysterically.
Who decided that swimsuits needed to be nothing more than glorified, over-priced underwear? What happened to this:
Those girls look good and they know it. And, they actually look dressed. I could totally go for a swimsuit like this, if only it were 1906. It would almost be worth the possible exposure to polio just to be able to wear a get-up like this to take my kids swimming.
Y’all. I’m serious about this stuff.
I did buy a suit today. It’s red. The color of the devil. Don’t EVEN get me started.
I was laughing tears when I read this and yes I laugh/cry too when I have to buy swimsuits. or pants. My bathing suit is read too. I’m sure you’ll look good in that, I hope you’ll enjoy the swimday!
Ha! Thanks, Luisa! Glad I’m not alone! 🙂
This is so funny! This year I’m wearing swim shorts and a sun shirt. Relief!
Good for you, Candice! I’m probably heading that route in the VERY near future! 🙂
Some things never change. When I was a, quote, “young people,” end quote, the entire population of us from our assembly meetings around the city and suburbs, would often gather together somewhere for a day of fun. That was about 100 to 120 boys and girls, from about 15 to 25 years of age. It would be skiing in winter, hikes, and on one occasion we went to a lake for sports and swimming….. There was one fellow who took a lot of teasing; his swim suit looked like large boxer shorts. He didn’t care; he stood his ground and declared that almost any other swim suit was immodest… and he was right. Some of the farm boys took great delight in showing off their muscles with “swim suits” that were smaller than underwear we would have referred to as “tightey-whiteys.” Yes; the boys were more guilty of being immodest than the girls. Some of the girls had a measure of being immodest, but not by choice. Decent swim suits just were not available even back then. Many of the girls, and a lot of the boys, wore a t-shirt all day over top of their swim suit, and many chose to wear a pair of shorts when they went into the water. I love the old photo by the way. From what I understand, the problem with those old “swim” suits was they got very heavy when wet.