So, our cat is somehow the most popular cat in the neighborhood these days. Every time I go outside now, there is a gang of cats hanging out around our house. It’s like they all want to be around the cool new cat in the neighborhood. I think when we adopted her we unwittingly opened a cat youth center. Oh, well, at least we’re keeping them out of the drug scene. If they’ll hang out at our house instead of getting into trouble I’ll make sure I keep plenty of Meow Mix on hand.
In case you are wondering how things are working out with the new cat, there’s this:
They both seem pretty happy. I feel pleased that she hasn’t died or run away yet, even though I am a bit suspicious of her cat gang. I hope she’s not a notorious cat crime ring leader, who was just waiting to get sprung from the shelter so she could resume her regular criminal activity. I’m not sure what kind of crimes that cats commit. Trash strewing? Bird eating? Using another cat’s litter box? That happens, you know. Ask me how I know.
Yes, we have a litter box in our garage because we keep the cat in there at night. Let’s just say that there’s no way she is the lone producer of the contents of that box. And, as one who often (okay, sometimes) has to clean that box, I think it should definitely be considered a cat crime.
And right about now you’re wondering, Melissa, are you really going to make this whole post about your cat?
Well, I’m glad you asked. The answer is no. I’m going to talk about cats.
When I was a kid we lived out in the country. I got a cat, whom I predictably named Patches. Patches was quite an ugly cat, with sort of a, well, patchy pattern on her back. She was skinny and long and she loved for me to come outside and sit with her in the sun and stroke her ugly fur. Well, one day we realized that Patches was great with child. As a matter of fact, she was so great that she birthed nine, yes, nine kittens in her first litter. Well, things sort of advanced from there, as you might imagine, and before we knew it, we had over thirty cats running around our place.
We always had adorable fluffy kittens toddling around. I remember one day one of the cats had just had a fresh litter and was keeping them in a box on our front porch. I said goodnight to them and the next morning when I woke up, I went out to discover that all of the kittens had been eaten by something. What an uplifting story for your Friday!
The point is that when I see this gang of cats hanging around our house I can’t help but wonder if we’re somehow headed toward a thirty cat scenario up in here. And, if that happens, I will wonder if I am actually destined to become that crazy cat lady that we all talk about. Is it possible for one girl to be fatefully handed a thirty cat situation twice in her life?
And, while our lovely little kitty isn’t capable of having babies, I can’t speak for the other cats in her gang. But, they sure do look comfortable around my house and in my garage.
Do you see the kinds of things that keep me up at night?
And, apparently being a crazy cat lady is so common or so cool or so something that there are real life products out there that you can buy to demonstrate your cat craziness. Can you see me in this next fall?
Well, if these cats do multiply and if they hang around and take over the neighborhood, or if I find out that our cat is, in fact, some kind of feline mob boss that is running her crime ring from our carport, I suppose all I can do is accept the fact that God wants me to be terribly, inexplicably intertwined with a great and mighty herd of cats.
Maybe I, a non-cat person, should just embrace my role as the resident crazy cat lady and stop fretting so much about the intentions of the cat gang. After all, I was well trained for this job as a kid. And, I think, at least I’m pretty sure, that if there is pink home décor about ladies like me, that must mean that this is a pretty legitimate role.
I mean, there are worse things, right? Right???
In the end, if I do wind up becoming a crazy cat lady, I’ll just have to remind myself that it all started because of one little freckle faced girl who was made supremely happy by her fluffy black and white shelter rescue. And, if someday that cat turns out to be one of the great evil cat geniuses of our time, I think that that little girl will love her just the same.
And, I suppose, for that, I can handle a little cat craziness. Plus, there ARE cute sweatshirts.