I recently ran across a discussion online where childless women were talking about how difficult it is for them to listen to young mothers “complain” about their children. It has really made me think about how I talk about motherhood. If you’ve read many of my posts, I hope it’s clear that I love being a mother. I don’t think it’s possible for a human to love little people more than I love mine.
But, let’s face it. Motherhood can be hard.
Some days are tough. In fact, the parenting experience in general is just a collection of successes and failures, hopefully more of the former than the latter. But, there are periods when, as a mother, you feel like failures abound. It can be lonely. Mothering is hard work. And, being a parent is a constant call to put others first, to do your very best at all times, and to not sleep for a large chunk of your life. And, I think it’s okay for us to talk about that.
As someone who has experienced multiple losses in pregnancy, I see where these poor girls are coming from. It is so tough when you want babies with all your heart and you just don’t have the power to make it happen. I can see how listening to young moms complain about how they never get to go to the movies would seem so insensitive to them. Inside they’re screaming, “Do you KNOW what you’re saying?! I would give ANYTHING to have a baby to stay home with on a Friday night!” And, I totally get that. It must seem like we don’t appreciate our lives and the many blessings that are right in front of us.
It may seem that way, but that’s not how it is. Everyone has good and bad to deal with, whatever their situation. Our little jokes about drawing a crowd while on the toilet are just small ways for us to laugh at the craziness that sometimes IS life with kids. It’s a way for us to feel like we’re not alone when life has turned upside down and The Fresh Beat Band is our new favorite group. It’s certainly not an indication that we wish these babies weren’t around or that we don’t recognize how outrageously blessed we are to have them.
We could all stand to be a little more understanding.
I know women right now who are desperate to have children. I pray that God blesses them with little ones. I know women right now who are drowning in the never-ending demands of motherhood. I pray they find balance and peace. We are all just doing the best we can, ladies. May God bless it and help us to love each other.