When Adelade and Sawyer were babies, I was just entering the world of doing without for the sake of my kids. Instead of buying myself clothes, I would always find myself taking what little money I had for shopping straight into the baby department. I, who had for six years been a working, married adult, making my own money and shopping only for myself, suddenly found myself with a fairly empty closet, staying at home with two little people, wearing jeans and t-shirts every day, getting plainer and plainer by the spit-up stained minute.
I had a friend at church who would often approach me after Sunday school and tell me how beautiful she thought I was. I honestly don’t know what she saw on those Sunday mornings when I arrived, frazzled, but her words made a huge impact on me. And, to this day, almost ten years later, I still replay them in my head as words of affirmation and encouragement. The truth is that her simple, sweet words breathed life into an otherwise unremarkable-feeling young woman at that time, and I will always love her for taking the time to tell me what she saw in me on those long-ago Sunday mornings.
The truth is that I often see people, friends and strangers alike, and am struck by their beauty. By their talents and abilities. By their knack for putting together pretty outfits. By their kind spirit or their unending patience. I have these thoughts multiple times every day of my life. But, many times I don’t take the time to say so. I walk on by and keep thoughts to myself that could make a huge difference in their day. I find myself holding back on encouraging people, even though the encouraging thoughts are always filling my head because people are so fascinating and beautiful in so many ways.
Why not just say it?
When we think of the call to love one another, we tend to imagine the really hard stuff. We think of hugging a homeless man on the street or flying to Africa to hand out Bibles or forgiving someone who has deeply wounded us. All of these things are good in their own context. But, what if we’re complicating things too much? What if we start right in our own heads, with our own mouths, simply speaking a kind word to a friend when her hair looks really nice? Or approaching a stranger in Target and telling her what a sweet mom she seems to be? What if we just say the encouraging thoughts that pop into our heads throughout the day?
I’m not talking about phoniness. I’m not talking about flattery. Christians should never be guilty of handing out compliments to make themselves look good or to try and get something out of someone. I’m simply suggesting that when we have a positive thought about someone, we should voice it right away. We may never know what kind of impact our words could have on someone’s day, on someone’s life.
The Bible tell us that gracious words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24) We just never know which souls that we encounter are in need of a little sweetness, a little encouragement. And with less than a minute of our time, the Holy Spirit may use our simple words to speak healing into someone, on a day when they really need some healing.
It’s such an easy way to love.
When Adelade was about four, my friend moved away, and then we moved away, too, and I lost contact with her. She probably has no idea that her comments still come back to me to this day, sweet encouragement at times when I need it. I want my words to hang delicious over someone’s head, always ready to breathe life and healing into them when they need some. It’s such a simple imperative: See the beauty and good in people, and say what you see. If we start today, who knows how much love we can dole out, one sweet word at a time?
Robert Pratt
I’ve given you a number of compliments since I joined your group of readers. However, this latest message is your “All Time, Top Of The Pile”. You nailed it Melissa.
You are such a blessing to all of us.
Robert
Melissa
Robert, as far as you’re concerned, this post is preaching to the choir! 🙂 Thanks so much!
Nicole Plymesser Nelson
Loved this post! Beautifully written and so true! I made the decision to hand out random compliments years ago for the same reason. It always elicits a smile from a stranger. So important in these days when we tend to walk right by our neighbors.
Melissa
Yes, Nicole! Thanks so much!
Nicole Nelson
Just wanted to let you know that I am going to link to this post on Monday June 15 on my blog at http://www.nicplynel.com. Thanks for a great job writing!
Melissa
Great! Thanks, Nicole!
Angie
I’ve been working on this exact thing this month. In particular with my children though. I’ve become so obsessed with “training them up right” I forget to tell them what they are doing right. I think it is harder for me to give compliments to those I love the most. Working to change that.
Melissa
I agree, Angie! I am already thinking of making that the topic of a future post!
SJBeals
This was such an excellent piece. I try to encourage my kids so much more than I have to correct them. They remember! Words are free and can benefit others so much!
Melissa
Thanks, SJBEals!
Laura
I really liked this. You are so right. I often will think nice things about my friends or people around me, but don’t say them. And yet, I know how much I appreciate and am encouraged by kind words – and yes…HONEST kind words…not looking for something nice to say, but saying the nice things I am thinking. Thank you for this – a great word for us all!
Melissa
Thank you, Laura!