I’ve not been able to stop thinking about this video I saw a few days ago. Two doors, one labeled “Beautiful” and one “Average,” and women of all walks of life making the choice to walk through the door that they feel describes them. Some choose the average door without much thought. Others walk confidently straight toward the beautiful door.
But, the image that sticks with me is one woman who walks through the beautiful door, dragging her obviously reluctant teen daughter along with her.
Now, if I were walking along and suddenly found myself presented with this choice, I know which door I would choose. I would walk through the average door, and I wouldn’t think too much about it either. After all, I would reason that anyone watching me would agree that the average door is more my speed. But, then this scenario kept coming up in my mind: what if I were walking with my two daughters when faced with this decision? I can say with all certainty that I would not drag my sweet daughters along behind me through that average door. No, I would lead them directly to the beautiful door with no hesitation.
And, I’m not just talking about physical beauty here. I want all of my children to understand that there is no such thing as average when it comes to being an adopted child of the King of the Universe. Yes, I want them to be confident in their appearance, to see themselves as they are, unmarred by all of the prejudices that we develop against ourselves as we grow up. But, more importantly, I want them to see themselves as God sees them, as individual hearts and souls and bodies created in God’s image, so precious that God sacrificed everything to call them His own.
So, the question remains. If my children follow in my faith footsteps, will they see their worth and beauty, or will they end up believing that they are nothing special? Where am I leading them, really? Am I unknowingly dragging them through the average door, or am I instilling the confidence that comes from knowing Christ crucified?
We must stop, mamas. We have to stop dwelling on every flaw we see in ourselves, in our faces, in our bodies, in our character. If only we saw ourselves the way God sees us. Or the way our children see us. I know that my three little ones would be shocked to see me avoiding the beautiful door. To them, it’s not even a close call. Even if they don’t think I’m the most beautiful person in the world, they look at me and see great, unmatched, undeniable beauty. Because they love me.
Why don’t we decide, dear friends, that we will live as if every door we pass through is the beautiful door? Why don’t we choose today to see ourselves through the eyes of our Creator, and through the eyes of our babies? I’m convinced that if we do this, our children will have an easier time understanding their own worth. And we will have a clearer picture of what it means to be a child of God.
Thanks for linking to our video, Melissa! This is an issue that’s so important to me. I actually wrote a post a while back on how what I SAY about myself affects my daughter – I am not too hard on how I look but I am guilty of constantly calling myself “dumb, idiot, stupid” or berating myself for little mistakes. I have vowed to stop doing that out loud and hopefully stop altogether! My prayer is that I can be so focused on Jesus that I have the mind of Christ and will be able to see myself as He does…and that my kids will follow my lead. It is such a battle we fight each day!
Melissa, I love the way you’ve addressed this.
When I first saw the article the other day I, too, couldn’t stop thinking about it. And for many of the same reasons as you. It bugged me that “Oh, gee, here we go again. Another way for us to have the good feelies about ourselves, about our physical appearance, but I thought we are in a day and age when we aren’t supposed to be hung up on appearance?”
Should we be comfortable with our bodies (and, of course, always being aware of seeking to be healthful)? Absolutely. But we preach, “It’s not just about how we look! Hey, we’re more than our physical appearance!” but then here comes another one of these “Affirm Me!” gimmicks focused on physical appearance! It’s like a merry-go-’round.
And, like you, I’d happily–with no hang ups–walk myself right through the average door because I *am* [physically] average. And I’m okay with that. Not to mention, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered that beauty really is within the eye of the beholder, be it the physical appearance of a person, or art work, or almost anything. What you find knock-your-socks-off might leave me saying, “Meh, It’s average.”
And, like you, I thought to myself, “But if we’re talking character, and wisdom, and a spirit of life, well, then I’d like to say I’m going through the beautiful door!” And I know a lot of folks who might be physically average but baby, when I look at how they love our Lord, and the wrinkles on their face earned through some tough times that drew them closer to Him, and the years they’ve served Him, it’s a stampede through the beautiful door!
But I hadn’t considered the aspect of how God sees us so I’m glad you brought that into the conversation. Thank you for the article.
Dear Melissa, I visit at our local jail every Friday. Last Friday I suggested to an inmate to pray to see himself as God sees him. Jails and prisons are full of people who have no sense of how valuable they are in God’s eyes. Your message today is so profound. I am going to print it and use it in my jail ministry.
Through the Holy Spirit, you have nailed one of the fundamental causes of so much unhappiness and failure.
You are truly a gift to all of us who have the privilege of reading your inspired words.
May the Lord continue to bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for writing this! I needed to read it more than you can imagine!