One of the greatest feelings in the world at this point in my life is the moment when I lay my two year old in her bed at night. We are both genuinely ready for a little rest after a busy day of two-ness. Knowing that I can put her in her bed and go sit and stare (or write a blog post) without chubby little hands grabbing for mine, without demands for fruit snacks or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, is quite a relief. And, she feels it, too, I know, when we go through our bedtime routines and she feels that rest coming closer. She often falls right into it, welcoming the end of another full day.
But, something happens after a few hours of sleep and separation. Morning comes, and I wake up excited to see her precious little face smiling up at me. Just a few days ago, I went into her room and she opened those big blue eyes and said, “Good morning!” I scooped her up, blankey and all, and thought, “Yes, it IS a good morning.” Even though I’m not the most bright and shiny of morning people. Even though on some mornings I wake up thinking about how many hours it will be before my head will hit the pillow again.
And, yesterday, instead of waking up and calling me to her room in her usual way, she shouted out, “Mama! I want to say good morning!” I giggled and walked into her room. She was practically buried in the middle of a collection of weird little toys and Christmas books and who knows what all that she drags to bed with her. And she grinned at me in the pale morning light, and said almost shyly, “Mornin’!”
When Emerald wakes up, I’m the very first person on her mind. She won’t rest anymore once she sees the sunshine streaming in narrow ribbons through her blinds. She wakes up thinking Mama, and she doesn’t stop calling for me until she sees my face and says good morning.
If I’m being honest, when I consider the first thing on my mind when I wake up, the answer is clear: it’s me. What do I have to do today? How do I feel? I wish I could sleep longer. How well did I sleep last night? On and on and on I can go, thinking of my own thoughts and feelings, never once stopping to think about God.
Imagine how things would be different in my day if the first thought that bloomed in my mind every morning was God. His word. His goodness. What if I just couldn’t rest until I got the chance to say good morning to my Father? What if, like Emerald, I opened my eyes each day knowing that all I really want to do is to say, “Mornin’.” To the One who made the morning. To the One who spoke light into being.
What if what I really wanted to do was to see His face?
When Emerald calls me in the mornings, I don’t wait to go in and see her. I rush, just because I enjoy seeing her happy smile as I turn the corner. If I, so, so imperfect, rush to see my baby girl, how much more does a right and perfect God love showing His face to His children?
I don’t want to miss Him because I’m so busy thinking about myself. What a shame to miss the glory of God.
On the really special mornings, I meet with God in my first thoughts, and I hear Him again in the sound of a two year old’s “Mornin’.” He is so good, so worthy.
And, He blesses so much.
He is a good morning God and a good night God. And, He is everything in between. Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, sunrise and sunset.
I want to wake up tomorrow like a two year old with Mama on her mind.
Every thought focused on seeing the face of my Lord.
From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3
Your honesty about being a mom combined with your love for our Great God thrill my soul. Thanks, Melissa, for so often voicing those poignant stabbing thoughts and feelings that make me catch my breath and think, “Oh yes, I know exactly what she means!” Blessings and grace and mercy, sweet lady.
Thank you so much, Nita!