WordPress and Google work together to show me which Google searches lead people to my blog. I thought it would be fun to dig through some of the search terms that brought people here and explore some answers to their questions.
For the kid reader who found my blog by googling “How to get your mom and dad to say yes to a hermit crab”: I have a simple three step plan for you to get a beloved (stinky) little crab into your room as soon as possible.
Step #1: Ask for a dog.
When you ask for a dog, your mom’s first reaction will probably be laughter. She will make comments, some out loud and some under her breath, about how the last thing she needs is another being to take care of. When you insist you will feed and clean up after the dog, the laughter may get louder. She may make comments about the fact that you can’t seem to manage to pick up your underwear and therefore would probably not make a good dog owner.
A few days to a few weeks after you have asked for a dog, you may notice your mother beginning to soften toward the idea, since she will be lying in her bed every night thinking that maybe she is causing irreparable damage by not allowing you to get a dog. She will wonder if it’s true that every child needs a dog, and she will wonder if she’s going to come up in future therapy sessions for not allowing you to get one.
Step #2: Ask for a horse.
After a few weeks’ worth of the dog discussion have passed, it’s time to make a move and ask for a horse. Tell your mother that a horse would make a great companion. Google horse pictures and show her which colors you like the best. Start using terminology like “saddle,” “bridle,” “reins,” and “bucket of oats.” Discuss the best place in your yard for building a barn.
You may see your mother beginning to try to direct you back to the dog, even though just a few weeks ago she was opposed to getting one.
Step #3: Ask for a hermit crab.
Just about the time your mother seems poised and ready to buy the dog that she doesn’t want or need, ask for a hermit crab. She will be so overjoyed that she doesn’t have to buy the fuzzy, barky mess maker at this point in her life that she will gladly run to the pet store and buy you the hermit crab of your dreams.
She won’t even mind if he is a little stinky.