This weekend I ran across a blog that features anonymous “mommy confessions,” where mamas can post some of their most cringe-worthy moments or try to help clear their consciences by revealing some terrible thing that they feel guilty about doing. It was certainly an eye opener to read what some of the women wrote. Of course, there was your typical I’m scared to breastfeed type admission. There were quite a few I hate my husband entries. There were some that were along the lines of I never make my child brush his teeth or All my son will eat is chicken nuggets.
And, then there was a whole other category of confessions. Here are a few that caught my eye:
Three children was too many.
It’s 9am and I just sent my five year old back to bed with a movie because I just can’t deal with him right now.
I buy my five year old video games so he can ignore me and I can ignore him.
Honestly, most of the time I don’t care what my kids are doing, just so long as they’re quiet.
Motherhood makes me feel smothered and alone. I miss my freedom.
This is only a handful of the many confessions that seem to ooze regret. I doubt these mothers would consciously admit that they wish they had never had children (although some of them do), but their statements certainly suggest that they wish they were doing something other than being mothers.
I can understand, to a certain extent, why these mamas wrote what they did.
Because motherhood is hard. It’s tiring. It’s never-ending. It’s all giving. It’s true, complete sacrifice.
But, there’s something much deeper going on here than a bunch of mothers who would rather be out drinking margaritas. It’s a mentality that goes much, much further into our psyches, and I dare say that not one of us American mamas is immune to this way of thinking.
Because we were raised in the abortion culture.
We, current mothers of young children, can’t remember a time when abortion wasn’t an “issue” to rail against or to rally for. If you’re like me and you grew up in church, you probably attended your fair share of candle light vigils and Sanctity of Life Sundays. You wore your little baby feet pin in high school to show that you believe in tiny life in the womb and you may even have a pro-life bumper sticker on your car.
But, it doesn’t matter if you have a “My Uterus, My Choice” t-shirt in your closet or if you protest at abortion clinics. You are a victim of the abortion culture’s indoctrination of young women. And, chances are, it shows in your mothering.
The abortion culture has taught us that children stand in the way of things that we want. It has taught us that we deserve more than being at home with children on a Friday night. It has told us that it is possible to “not be ready” for kids. It has instilled in women a lack of confidence in our ability to handle children. It has produced the feeling that it can be a mistake to have a child or a mistake to have more than one.
The abortion culture has lied that it is better for a child to have no mother at all than to have an imperfect one.
And so, even if we feel like we are pro-life to our core, if we really stop and examine the way we think about our children, do we see the abortion culture mindset creeping in? Do we find that we are resenting our children because they ask a lot of us? Are we preoccupied with all of things that we would rather be doing? Do we often view our kids as a nuisance? Do we dream of what life would be like without kids?
Do we feel defeated every morning before our feet even hit the floor?
Are we only giving part of ourselves to our children?
Do we hold back because we are sure we are ruining our children?
Do we often wish that our children would just leave us alone?
I would submit to you, my sweet mama friends, that these feelings are directly related to the abortion culture which has lied to us for our entire lifetime. We must stop now and implore God to change our thinking about our children.
These lies have convinced women that some aren’t capable of being good mothers.
These lies have convinced women that there are more important or fulfilling things than raising children.
These lies have convinced women that children are annoying, inferior, unimportant.
These lies have convinced women that children don’t have feelings or worth.
And, it shows in the things we say about them on social media and in the way that we treat them. It’s apparent in the huge number of mommy blogs that are funny diaries of how miserable motherhood is. With names like Scary Mommy, Bad Mommy, and My Name’s Not Mommy, these blogs have made it fashionable to hate the responsibility of raising children.
And, the underlying current of all of it is: what if I had never had children? Would I be happier?
Before the abortion culture turned motherhood on its head, children were considered a source of great happiness. Now, they are considered nothing more than dream squashers.
I’m convinced we need to examine our hearts and admit that the abortion culture has tainted our thinking. For our kids’ sakes, and so we won’t pass on the lies to our little girls, let’s ask God to change our mindset. Our children are so much more than an “issue.” They are so much more significant than a choice. And they need mothers who refuse to see them as obstacles to happiness.