From January 21, 2011:
My son is almost three. Like most three year olds, he loves calling out from his bed at bedtime to ask for various things. Sometimes I am patient when he does this and sometimes I’m not. This is how the first few minutes of bedtime usually sound:
“Mama, I need a dink!”
“Mama, put my banket on me!”
“Mama, I want Pooh!”
“Mama, I need a dink!”
Until finally I warn him that this is the LAST drink, and it’s time for him to go to sleep. When I say this there is usually silence. Sometimes he goes to sleep and I don’t hear a peep until the next morning. But, there are nights when he just can’t bear the thought of going to sleep and being alone and he has run out of things to ask for. On those nights I hear:
“Mama, I want you.”
Such a sweet and simple request. He doesn’t really know what he wants at this point–he just knows he needs me in some way. He must have me, and you can bet that when I hear those words I don’t waste any time getting in there to hug my baby.
When this scenario unfolded a few nights ago, I was sitting on the couch thinking about what had just happened, and it dawned on me that I had just witnessed a picture of my relationship with God. How often do I ask for everything else that I think will make me happy? He hears:
“God, give me another baby.”
“God, make Adelade well so she won’t miss her class party.”
“God, make me a better (wife, mother, friend, cook, housekeeper, money manager).”
I can just picture God waiting to hear those words that are so pleasing to His ear:
“God, I want you.”
When I acknowledge that I don’t know what I want or what will make me happy, when I reach the point where I can say that all I really know is that I want and need and crave God, and I’m too weak to do anything on my own, He will really show me His power. I pray that I can be more like a little child calling out to his mama. I want you, God.
We are keeping the grands this week while mama and daddy vacation. The hardest part is bedtime for all the reasons you describe. The almost 3-yr-old wants a dink of cool water, etc. But when he says, “nana, lay with me'” I crawl in beside him without an argument. I forget that when I feel overwhelmed by all the things that start to flood my mind as I lay down to sleep my Heavenly Father just wants me to draw up close to Him and be comforted.
Beautiful, Helen!