One of the most common things that we hear in ministry counseling is that someone is struggling with a pornography addiction. Men and women alike constantly battle this temptation, and in moments of weakness they regularly fail in their commitment to stay away from porn. They don’t understand why they can’t just stop looking at it, stop being tempted by it. Like a serial dieter who keeps a smorgasbord of cupcakes, cookies, and candy in the pantry, they leave their computers and phones and tablets unrestricted and count on their own strength of will to keep themselves away from the very sin that is killing them.
That’s not how avoiding temptation works.
If you are struggling with a porn addiction and you really, truly want to stop looking at porn, then you need to get filters and accountability software on every single device in your home. Alcoholics have to pour out the liquor, dieters have to throw away the cupcakes, and porn addicts have to block the porn. This is how you flee temptation.
If you want your husband, wife, pastor, or friends to believe that you are sincerely and desperately sick of your porn addiction, this step will show them that you are serious. Your willpower isn’t going to rescue you from this destructive sin habit. Pray that Jesus will keep you from temptation, but use the tools that He has inspired and flee temptation like He commanded.
Your life will be better without porn. Your relationships can be healed. Your mind can be redeemed. If you really want to be free of the guilt and the heartache of porn addiction, take this first step. Block the pornography.
By the way, the best time to get internet filters and accountability is before an addiction develops. We have been fleeing this temptation since 2004, and no one in our house has a porn problem. Every Christian with internet should take the availability of pornography seriously. Don’t count on your own willpower or the willpower that you imagine your children have. Sexual sin is spiritually devastating, and no one–not one single soul–is immune.
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41
What do you guys use for your devices?
Jana, we’ve used Covenant Eyes for about 14 years.
Melissa, as always, you’ve hit right on a needed subject. Pornography is rampant in America and in the church. I wrote a fiction book with this subject hoping just to open readers’ eyes and understanding about it. And there is a great “accountability tool” called Covenant Eyes. That site is also a great site for anyone needing help or wanting more information about this subject.
Thank you, Linda!
I LOVE that you tackled this. I also have Covenant Eyes on all of my electronic devices, we turned off satellite and went to antenna only, and my husband and I have flip phones that do not access the internet. I know my limits and I know that without accountability the temptation can be too strong. I am 9 years on the other side. I was a Christian that hid my addiction and was dying inside. When my best friend confronted me, I finally owned it. After getting caught, I was ready for any consequence that came my way, even the possibility of losing my marriage or job. When you are at the bottom and you really want to stop, there is nothing, I mean nothing you won’t do to get free. Freedom is absolutely possible, but just like Joshua had to show up and fight the battle, we as addicts have to show up and fight harder than we have ever had to before. But God is so faithful to honor our fight. I am working on a blog to help women who are hidden in their secrets and I desperately want to empower them to step out and bring their secrets into the light. http://www.hiddeninplainsight.blog is still a work in progress, but maybe it will help someone who is struggling. And Melissa,you are absolutely right. Willpower is not enough. You don’t just stop. It takes every ounce of energy you have plus a firm and deep reliance on the Holy Spirit to make it through every, single moment of the day. Oh, but freedom fro the darkness, shame, secrets, guilt, lies and fear; freedom from all that is so worth the intense battle. Blessings to you. Keep sharing truth.
Christy, I’m so glad you’re making yourself available to minister to women who are struggling with this. I’m looking forward to seeing how God uses your new blog. Thanks so much for your comment!
I started seeing pornography at a very young age and I was so necked deep into it, I didn’t know it was a serious addiction problem until I read on a group how addictive pornography could be.
Getting knowledge was my first freedom when I got married my husband and i were virgins we needed things to educate us on sex, but knowing how addictive pornography could be, I told my husband pornography videos are not an option for us. Thank God I did, we found a very helpful book by Tim Lahaye THE ACT OF MARRIAGE ‘The beauty of sexual Love.
Pornography destroys the sanity of marriage Sex is beautiful and only Gods Word and the Holysprit can show us the true beauty of sexual Love…
Awesome piece Melissa!!!