I want to do big things! And I want to do them now! Adelade gave a passionate speech in the car on the drive home from dance class. At twelve years old, she feels like her life is being wasted on the utterly ridiculous pursuit of running around a track in P.E. She truly can’t believe that she is squandering her life in math class when she should be tackling all of the big dreams that she has laid out for herself. I laughed at her flushed cheeks and her animated plea for room to do something huge.
She thinks big, and I have no doubt one day she’ll do big things, but first she needs time to grow. She needs time to build character (in P.E. class, maybe), to gain wisdom, to learn from others. She wants to skip over all of the hardest parts of becoming a useful member of society because she just can’t wait to make her mark.
I understand how she feels. I often try to run ahead of where God has me. I think I should be more, do more, make more impact, and I want to pass over all of the hard work of growing in my knowledge and understanding of Christ. I want to speed right by all of the life experiences that teach patience, wisdom, kindness, joy, gentleness. The truth is, the day-to-day job of sanctification can be painful. But, it’s essential to my formation as one who can be of use to the Kingdom of God. I want to do big things. Badly.
But, maybe for now I just need to keep plugging away at the little things God has entrusted me with. This is where I learn to be more like Him. This is where He shows me how real love operates. This is where He demonstrates that His glory is all that matters. And, who knows? Maybe one day He will do something big through me.
Or maybe He already is, I thought, as I watched my firstborn’s eyes dance at the idea of changing the world.
So glad it spoke to you, Jenn!
What you wrote about your daughter was encouraging to read. Perhaps there is a tie to what you recently wrote about an older preacher being aware of the remaining sin in his heart. The self examination and the self emptying of confession is the hidden work that many of us have looked past. It is always painful and humbling. Without it we won’t become like Jesus in imagining the pain and burden of others.
Separately, Would you ask Chad if he would email me a brief msg. so that I could exchange email with him? If he is too busy, I understand.
Wayne McDaniel Phx. Phil. 1:6