This week a blogger I follow revealed that she has remarried after the death of her husband. She is twenty-five years old with five small children. And, you would’ve thought she had committed a horrendous crime. The comments began pouring in, from people who don’t know her and didn’t know the husband that she had devoted her love and care to during their tragically short life together. Complete strangers felt the need to berate her as a mother and a human being simply for falling in love again and devoting herself to another man.
Anytime some kind soul jumped on there to defend her, the criticizers all answered the same way: if she doesn’t want our opinion on it, she shouldn’t be a blogger.
For some reason, the world at large seems to believe that if you are a blogger then you are fair game as a punching bag for total strangers.
I have had some horrible comments hurled in my direction through the years. Some people even take the time to email me privately to cuss at me. Just tonight I came home from church and had a comment from someone on an old post that she must have run across. It was about Christmas cards. And, she told me that I sounded selfish. I’ve had much worse things said to me, but it was a painful barb for some reason. I think it’s because, who really gets mad at a total stranger over Christmas cards? And, why did she feel the need to tell me so?
Oh, it’s because I’m a blogger, and if I don’t want to be abused then I shouldn’t blog.
I just wish that we would all take a moment to remember that bloggers are people, too. We have real families, tiring days, weaknesses of all kinds. Blogging is meant to be an exchange of ideas, not just a place that you set up on the internet so mean people can come and beat you up there.
It’s always a good idea to think of human beings as human beings. Even if they do write blogs.
What is wrong with people? Over that Christmas Card Post? Why you don’t send them. Good grief…Carry on! People will be people.
Yes, they will, Keri! 🙂 Thanks!
So true! Sadly, we turned comments off for our blog due to this kind of mindset from so many. Yes, we are putting something out there for people to consider, but you are exactly right, it is a *person* who is behind those words! Thank you for this post, and for each article you produce. We enjoy your blog and the podcast!
Adam, I’ve noticed that more and more bloggers are turning off comments. Thanks so much for your comment and your encouragement!
Oh! I taught junior high for 13 years. In a few difficult years, it occurred to me that some students & parents didn’t necessarily regard me as human–I was a teacher, a character like you see in the movies, and it was really okay to treat me however they wished! It was so odd.
I follow that sweet lady too. I thought it incredibly brave of her to put her new marriage out there. People can be savage when they regard others as characters.
Anna, I taught junior high, too! Talk about a different world! ha! Thanks so much for reading and for your comment. It’s true–I think people do see bloggers as almost caricatures of real people.
Aside from the fact that folks are basically no good, all of us sinning and falling short of the glory of God, perhaps some of the problem is that people only see words on a page. They don’t experience the heartbreak that may lay behind those words. Nor do they experience the grief or sorrow that their own words might cause. It’s all just words on a screen.
I love reading your blog and your words of wisdom. Keep up the good work, in spite of the dunderheads we, your readers, can sometimes be.
God’s best to you and yours.
I think there’s a lot of truth there. I have been guilty of the same thing–I think we all get a little obsessed with our own thoughts and opinions. As I saw someplace online yesterday: We don’t listen to hear anymore. We listen to respond. Thanks so much for your comment and your encouragement!
Thank you for writing this. I really appreciate it. Bloggers are not punching bags! And I completely understand why many blogs do not allow comments.
“We don’t listen to hear anymore. We listen to respond.”
By typing my own thought here, now makes me guilty of the above. 🙂
Because I do not come by often, I like to say a small hello.
Normally it is in the form of a response, MY thoughts.
So, today I will say Hello. Please continue to write what you write and keep on
being whom you are suppose to be. {hmmm, still so opinionated 😉 🙂 }
Enjoy!
Sigh.
I’m seeing so much of this lately. It’s so sad.
My best friend was recently told, by a woman who admitted she never had children because of the amount of work required, that if she had, she would have kept their room much cleaner than my friend does! And that was just ONE of several hateful comments left on a video tour she posted of their rv home. What in the world???
Oh my goodness. Your poor friend!