Two years ago I made a decision that I was going to have to let some things go at Christmastime. I wanted to let go of the busyness. Of the stress. I wanted to hold on to what really mattered: my children at such tender ages, my husband, and the fun and sweetness of celebrating the birth of Christ.
I looked at my calendar and my to-do list, and I tried to figure out what I could cut. What could I retire that would make a difference in my enjoyment of Christmas? And, suddenly it hit me. Christmas cards.
Now, I love Christmas cards. I adore every single family picture, here’s-what-we-did-this-year letter, every sweet hello and every glittery greeting. I display a many as I can and keep stacks for months after the holiday has passed.
I have always enjoyed sending cards, too. I liked the thought of the cute faces of my people arriving in your mailbox. I loved staying in touch with dear friends from all of our different homes through the years. But, the truth is that by the time we moved for the fifth time, my Christmas card list was daunting. I started to realize that trying to send cards to everyone I wanted to send them to was going to be a huge undertaking and a major expense.
So, I made the decision one day, without fanfare: I wouldn’t send Christmas cards. And, suddenly it was like a weight was lifted off of a busy, often-weary mama’s shoulders.
Now, I do sometimes feel like I am committing a major crime against our loved ones, especially since they keep lovingly sending their Christmas cards that I adore so much. But, it is such a great relief to have one less time-consuming thing to worry about so that I can focus on these sweet babies that I only have with me for a short time.
I feel confident that my dear people who should see a card in their box from me understand. I think they get it. They know that the hustle and bustle of the holidays can sometimes feel like more pressure to perform. To host the perfect party. To dress the kids just right for Christmas pictures. To put our best, sparkling, look-at-how-awesome-our-year-has-been foot forward. But, I’m aiming for a different kind of Christmas these days. One that is more focused on the Savior-baby in the manger. One that is intent on memorizing what my kids look like and sound like at just this age. One that is more wrapped up in the joy and the magic than in the millions of things that need to be done. And, if dropping Christmas cards from my must do list is one way to make that happen, then I won’t worry too much about letting that tradition go.
Last year I went through the same thought process you did and came to the same conclusion for that year. I didn’t send cards last year. It felt very strange, but it was a good decision because SOMETHING had to go. We need grace for this kind of pruning and processing.
I just may follow your example! I’ve been wondering just when we are going to try to get a picture all together this year, and you’re right, it’s one more thing to do on an already full to-do list. Thank you for your honesty 🙂
How about trimming your shopping list and making Christmas less commercial?? You sound very selfish as you go on about how wonderful the cards make you feel, but you just cannot give up dressing perfectly and hosting the perfect party in order to make people you love and care for as happy as you will be receiving their cards. Suggestions: Trim your list to a manageable number of cards – decide who you love the most, I guess. Do your cards in October and mail them out in early December or late November. Check out SendOutCards.com/147746 where you can upload your own photos to create high quality cards for less and mail them without ever touching them (and, yes, you can do it in October if you wish).
Kathryn, I know that if we were sitting across the table from one another, having coffee, you wouldn’t have expressed your opinions about me in such a harsh way. I have been guilty of the same thing online. But, do remember that the people who write blogs are real people, imperfect as we may be. Thanks for commenting and for your suggestions, though. I’m sure that someone reading this will benefit from learning about sendoutcards.com. Blessings!
I guess we just don’t see it the same way. I don’t think about taking pictures of myself to send off. I think of the gift I am giving when that stressed, or lonely, or aging, or ill person opens up their mailbox and sees that someone is thinking about them and is wishing them the best of the season and the new year. It warms my heart when someone has remembered me at Christmas, and I want other people to feel the same. I do admit I don’t care for the letters or pics of all the great things THEY accomplished during the year. That makes it about them.
Amen Lisa. I do a few pics and a QUICK recap of the year. I still love to go through my parent’s cards like I did every year growing up. I have saved most all cards from every year I received them. Nothing better than being remembered and I hope others feel the same when they get one from me. Merry Christmas!
I find this blog to be selfish. I love my kids dearly and have loved all of the Christmases I’ve had and will have with them. But to see thoughtfulness as a burden is wrong. My kids LOVE that I send out cards and ask to be a part of it and even give cards to their friends Perhaps part of your Christmas time with your kids should be teaching them to care enough to send cards.
Merry Christmas
I think it’s a personal thing of whether to send out cards or not, but no one should be “guilted” into sending cards and those who do send them should not be calling those who don’t selfish or wrong. I see a bit of that here and it’s annoying. I for one do not set a big store in sending and/or receiving Christmas cards. I think if a person is stressed by the task they should probably forego it. There’s enough stress in life that we don’t need to add more of it. Either do it with joy because you actually want to or skip it. Don’t do it out of obligation or because you feel guilty if you don’t. And again, don’t let the merry elves of Christmas who DO send out cards make you feel like some sort of failure if you don’t participate in this yearly ritual. In the end, I really don’t keep track of those who sent me a card in past years nor do I hold it against someone if they don’t send me a card. Those who want to should, and those who don’t (for whatever reason) should refrain.
We send out cards every year to friends and family. Many of these people are not on our Facebook, and this is the only time they hear from our family. We think it is a great tradition to keep. We would gladly forgo some of the other jobs of Christmas to keep this tradition alive. Many people put their Holiday Greetings on the internet. To our family this seems very impersonal in this time of Love and Caring.