I was supposed to be cleaning. I was supposed to be doing laundry, scrubbing toilets, and vacuuming under couch cushions. But, instead, I was just settling down to color with Sawyer in his brand new coloring book. All that was really on my mind was which color that I would start with first, when I felt a terrible stinging pain in my arm. I looked down and realized that I had put my left arm right on top of a weirdly out of place wasp on the carpet.
After I beat the wasp to death with the biggest shoe I could find (Chad’s size twelves do come in handy), I sat holding my arm, wondering how I survived wasp stings when I was a kid. Sawyer stood next to me with concern on his face. He reached out and placed his hand over mine. Then, as if great wisdom and clarity suddenly descended on his seven year old little spirit, he said, Mama, generations before you were born, God knew this was going to happen to you.
The stinging continued. And, I nodded, looking into his precious freckled face, agreeing with the truth that he had spoken over me. The God who clothes every flower and knows if even one little bird drops to the ground. Yes, He knew. He knows. He will always know.
And, since that day Sawyer’s words keep coming back to me. I think of the beautiful Kara Tippetts, who lived and died with this truth echoing inside of her. And, despite the fact that there are more questions than answers, and we grieve for her young life and for her dear little children, we can be sure of this one thing. God knows.
I think of my friend Dawn, whose little girl’s seizures just keep coming, and the best doctors can’t figure out why. God knows.
The future spreads out like an undiscovered playground, and it looms like a terrifying storm, and in both things I see it is true. God knows.
He knew what joys this day would hold and He knows what sorrows tomorrow may hold, and whatever comes we know that we little unknowing ones are held close.
We are intimately known and exquisitely cared for.
The questions remain. The mourning. The various hurts that come with being human. The paralyzing fear. The brokenness. The exhaustion.
Take heart. God knows. He knows how this is all going to work out. How all of the pieces fit together. He knows which questions we haven’t thought of asking yet, and He knows the answer to every single one. God knows what He is doing in your life.
And, He knew generations before you were born.