I’m writing this because I need it. I would have entitled it “The Sins I Harbor,” but that title seems too provocative and like I’m trying to get clicks. Just know that I’m not writing this to preach at you or to gloss over the glorious power of God’s grace and mercy–I’m writing it so that if anyone out there, like me, is sheltering sin, they will realize it for a moment, and maybe in that moment, the Holy Spirit will work.
The other day I started to write a text message, something that I knew would fuel discord between the friend I was writing to and the person I was about to tell stories about. I had a half a second of hesitation, which I can only attribute to spirit of God inside of me, and in that half second, I erased the words that were about to be sent. That’s a rare occurrence. Typically I wouldn’t have hesitated in the least–I would have sent the message as a way to feel vindicated, and I would have explained away that faintest pang of a need for repentance inside of me. I would have said to myself that everyone ought to vent sometimes. Or I’m only joking. Or I would have not thought much about it at all. More often than not, I hit send and go about my day without thinking much more about it.
My reality, when I really search my heart, or more accurately, when I let God search it, is that there are all kinds of ungodly attitudes and desires in my life that I fuel with action every single day, and yes, I can get along this way. I can still really and truly minister to people, sincerely have deep, meaningful experiences with God, and grow in lots of ways. But I’m continually coming back to these things, these decisions, these ways of talking, these secret and sometimes not secret sins that I allow to take refuge in my heart, mind, and spirit. The teacher in Proverbs put it so eloquently when he said, “As a dog returns to his vomit, so fools repeat their folly” (26:11). Maybe this the kind of image we really need in order to recognize the patterns in our lives that keep us from experiencing the abundance of all that it means to be God’s child.
He is so good that He still grants me the ability to pray. He still allows me to use my talents. He still blesses me with friendships, family, and a wonderful church. He still speaks to me. He still grants me wisdom. He still invites me to rely on Him. He still inspires me to create things, to teach, to take care of my children, to love my husband. His grace is sufficient.
But when I harbor sin, allowing it to live inside of me without waging war against it, He gets less praise. He gets less glory. My main job on this planet and forever is to glorify God and enjoy Him. When I harbor sin, He isn’t getting the maximum glory that this child of God can offer. He doesn’t receive the full measure of praise that He deserves.
Paul wrote to the Philippian church with great love. His prayer for them was that they would be filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God (1:10). When I give sin a nice, cozy place in my life, I may do lots of good things for the Lord, and He may continue to work in my life. The fruit of righteousness may bloom, but it won’t grow wild and explode in a wonder of colors that bring the utmost glory and praise to my King. Unless I am alert and actively killing sin in my life, I will never be able to take my role as a God glorifier to its fullest potential. I want to live this life abundantly, not three-fourths in love with Jesus and one-fourth blind to the ways that sin hinders me and robs God of the glory that His perfection merits.
As I said, this is really about me. But if you, too, are waking up to the ways that you allow sin to live undisturbed in your heart, here is our moment. What will the Holy Spirit do? What are we willing to give up? How much more can this loving Father change His children who have the ax at the root of our own well-kept sins? How wild will our righteous fruit grow, and how much more glory and praise will our Savior get from it? I can’t wait to find out.
I love hearing from you!