A photographer on Instagram stops people on the street to take their photos. He approaches them and asks for permission, snaps a few pictures, and then he pays them a compliment. Most of the time, he calls them beautiful. Then he lifts the camera and captures the change. Eyes that were a little distant moments before light up, crinkling at the corners as a genuine smile spreads across their faces. The difference in expression before the compliment and after is striking. When I look at those photos I can practically feel the sudden thrill they experience as an artist examines them through his camera lens and makes a simple judgment: You are beautiful.
It’s likely that the subjects of this man’s pictures have heard comments about their appearance before. Some good, some bad. It’s also likely that they each remember most everything that’s ever been said about their appearance, both good and bad. I have a friend who once was told that he has an incredible forehead, and ever since that moment years ago, he has been proud of his forehead. I have another friend who was told when she was just a child that her ears were too big, and she has spent her entire life trying to cover them up. It doesn’t take much to sway people’s opinions of themselves. It’s something we know because we, too, are human beings who have had similar experiences. But it doesn’t necessarily stop us from sharing opinions we should probably keep to ourselves.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where our own opinions have grown to idol status. Social media has us sharing our opinions as if the world just really needs to know our every thought. We’ve come to believe that what’s on our mind is what this world needs, and it affects the way we interact with others. We’re quick to criticize. Quick to make judgments. To offer up “unpopular opinions,” or to add our voice to a shouting throng of opinion spewers.
But it doesn’t stop at our phones or computers. Living this way online also makes us quick to take offense in real life. Quick to correct people in rude ways, to tell people what we think about the job they’re doing, the haircut they got, the dress they’re wearing, the car they bought or the idea they had. There really are no limits to the ways that we spread negativity in a world where a simple phrase from a stranger like You are beautiful brings such joy and light to a downcast face. When I look at that photographer’s pictures, I’m reminded of how little encouragement it takes to give another person an entirely new demeanor.
A study questioned some of the most well-known and loved students in American high schools, seeking to find out what the secret of popularilty is. You know what they found? The popular kids had the longest list of people they liked. They were easily impressed by people and told them so. They went out of their way to show other kids how much they liked them, and as a result, everyone wanted to be around the popular kids. It makes so much sense. The way we make people feel matters.
As Christians, we are told to be light in this world. How can we share the truth of the gospel if we are busy spreading negativity through our ever-important opinions? I have never criticized another person and felt good about it. I always wish that I had kept my opinions to myself, that I had prayed for the person and situation instead of talking about it. But I have never sought to encourage someone and wished I hadn’t. Encouragement is a Christian trait. We are meant to be encouragers, to show the world the love of Jesus, to be the ones who will say, Actually, you are beautiful and mean it every time because we see the worth of one made in God’s image.
We have so many opportunities to encourage human beings in this world, from little children to the most aged. Why do we replace so many of those opportunities with the meaningless opinions that we give so much importance? What if we decided to be easily impressed by people? Imagine how many smiles would stretch across weary faces.
This is so convicting
For me, too!