WordPress and Google work together to show me which Google searches lead people to my blog. I thought it would be fun to dig through some of the search terms that brought people here and explore some answers to their questions.
This week I saw this Google search on my list: how to be a mom who has it all together. This is us, my dear mother friends. We are asking Google to come up with some explanation as to why we feel frazzled/disorganized/disoriented all the time.
I decided to try searching it myself, and the very first result that came up was a completely overwhelming list of fifty–yes, FIFTY– tips for mothers to help us get it together. Just glancing at that list made me feel like I am at least fifty steps behind other moms. I mean, assemble your child’s outfits when you put away clothes? (You mean, other people don’t just wear clothes straight out of the laundry basket?) Label the shelves of your linen closet? (Oh, there’s supposed to be a designated closet for that?) Ok, I’m exaggerating, but seriously. The list of fifty things is a total downer.
I don’t have it all together. I don’t even have most of it together. But, I will say this to you, sweet mama who searched for this answer: God didn’t make a mistake when He gave you children. He doesn’t make mistakes. He put your kids in your life at this particular time for a reason. There is great purpose in everything you do, whether you do it in a well organized home while wearing a full face of makeup and “real” clothes or you do it in a slightly chaotic mess without brushing your teeth until dinner time.
The truth is that if your children know that you love them they really don’t care what you look like or how well you cook or how often you wash your hair. They adore you unconditionally. You don’t have to have it all together.
I struggle with cooking, although I have been trying lots of new stuff thanks to my incredible new cookbook A Year with Six Sisters’ Stuff. Adelade knows that I get easily discouraged in this area, and she’s always trying to build me up. I remember when she was about seven I made a pot of beans. They were completely tasteless and obviously underseasoned. But, rather than lament that her mother obviously does not have it all together, she said, “These beans are SO GOOD! If only they had some taste!” She was trying her hardest to encourage me, but I had to giggle at her all-too-true compliment.
The other day as I was telling Chad that we need to start working out again, Adelade said, “Why do you need to work out, anyway? You’re already skinny!” I could’ve kissed her right then and there. She doesn’t see the extra pounds that I do. She doesn’t worry that her mother doesn’t have rock hard abs and perfectly highlighted hair and the latest fashions. I don’t have it all together, and she doesn’t care in the least.
Please hear me, Mamas. Those who seem to have it all together don’t. For further encouragement, please read Dear Young Mother, No One Has It All Together.