I have a confession. I’m hospitality-challenged.
Do I love to plan and throw parties? Yes! As long as they don’t take place in my house. But, the thought of opening up my house to lots of people and (even worse) cooking food for them, makes me sweat profusely.
I so admire those women who are always inviting someone over for dinner. Those confident, competent gals who know their way around the kitchen, who know instinctually when to offer someone a drink or how to make someone feel at ease. Those wives must make their husbands so proud. They have such a valuable skill, the making-people-feel-welcome gene or whatever it is.
This is something I struggle with. I want to welcome people into my home. I mean, I guess I do. I know I should want to. But, none of the domestic talents that I should have as a full-time mother are all that excellent. I am quite a mediocre housekeeper, a totally unenthusiastic cook, and, although I am a people person (I love to be invited over, for instance), I just don’t feel like I have what it takes to be the Hostess Extraordinaire.
But, then I read the Bible. Ugh. It’s full of calls to be hospitable. And, not just to our family and friends, but to strangers. To those in need. We are to open our homes and open our hearts to those who need a safe, comfortable place to land. Now, I don’t think that necessarily means that we are all called to let every homeless person we come across sleep on our couch. But, I know that when I read these scriptures, I could do a better job of being open, I mean with my door physically open, to people I love and people who need a little comforting. I could make a meal here and there. I could invite our friends over and give them as welcoming an experience as I can figure out how to give. The truth is that when I go to someone’s house, I don’t really care if there is tons of space or if the meal is perfect or if the hostess is made up like a model. In fact, my favorite homes to go to are the slightly chaotic, relaxed, come-on-in-no-matter-what kinds of places.
I can do that. Right?
It’s going to be one of my new goals. Deciding to invite anyway, to cook anyway, to be hospitable anyway. Even if I don’t feel it’s my forte. And, I bet the more I invite others into our home, the more comfortable I’ll feel doing it. By the way, I also believe that a lot of the elements of hospitality take place outside the home, just by being kind and looking for those who need a little encouragement. In fact, I personally know a woman at my church who extends hospitality to all people at all times. It actually feels as if she is the official welcoming committee at church, and she is really gifted at making people feel special and welcome. So, that knowledge encourages me. Even when I’m struggling to bring others into my home, I can still extend Christ’s love by showing hospitality wherever I go.
I’ll leave you with a quote from a blogger who writes a lot about showing hospitality at her blog, Balancing Beauty and Bedlam:
Hospitality is a gift that changes lives, just one meal at a time.
Melissa, one of my mother’s regrets when nearing the end of her life was not inviting people into her house. My dad was always wanting to invite people to our home to eat because she was such a good cook, but Mother wouldn’t let him brcause our house might not be good enough, or our dishes too plain, or the food not prepared correctly. Don’t let pride or being bashful take your joy of people away from you. Mother was 2 mos away from 92 when she passed away. Love u.
Thank you, Martha! I certainly don’t want to have regrets about how I used my home. I’m really going to challenge myself to invite people in!
Thanks for encouraging another hospitality challenged mom who wants to balance being more “together” with being hospitable right now, knowing I’ll never be together enough. We’ve got chaotic, relaxed, and come on into the crazy down to an art around here. I love having a house full of people, especially my kids’ and their friends, but it is very likely that unless dinner is takeout, it could be a failed science experiment, and even more probable the house is a mess (and was even before the muddy football game or snowy air soft battle got tracked inside.) There are two slumber parties going in my house at the moment – it’s messy, noisy, and I am the only one who is exhausted and ready to go to bed. But I hope they all feel loved and welcome, because they are. And it’s a good kind of exhausted.
I love this, Amy! It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job!