My senior in high school is facing a lot of what-ifs right now. He spends a chunk of every day thinking about things that may be someday, wondering where he will be this time next year, and speculating about a lot of hypothetical situations that he will very likely never experience. He’s more aware than ever that the path before him is a mystery, known only to God Himself.
Last night we had a Christmas party at our house. I was struck by how many little children were running around, often following the lead of our rambunctious Ivy, weaving in and out of carefully placed Christmas decor like precise little ninjas. At their ages, they are just beginning to grasp the concept of little baby Jesus, asleep on the hay. In their preschool Sunday school class this month, they are hearing all about this little Son who was born to Mary, a teenager who probably wasn’t any older than my speculative 17 year old.
Imagine how many what-ifs filled Mary’s mind as she waited those nine months to meet this special child the angel had told her about. And then, when she found herself birthing him among the animals, I wonder if she shook her head in disbelief, thinking that in all the ways she had pictured this moment, never did she imagine a cow would be just a few feet away, a cud-chewing witness. Yet, here she was. And here was her baby boy. And when the only humans who seemed interested in her child that night turned out to be smelly shepherds who had run straight from the fields, she must have laughed a little at how far from reality her dreams about this experience had been. Yet scripture tells us that she cherished all of these things in her heart. It didn’t matter that this night wasn’t the way she had pictured. It was quite a birth story–and she embraced God’s plan, even down to the slop trough that served as her precious baby’s bed.
So many more unknowns awaited young Mary. But she experienced no more mysteries in life than the rest of us do. Each of us goes to bed every night unsure of what tomorrow will hold. Of course, we make plans, but as the teacher in Proverbs points out, the Lord determines our steps. In fact, my seventeen year old has never known what tomorrow or next week or next year holds–he’s just more keenly aware of it now.
So maybe in these periods when we’re facing big decisions or awaiting big events, or in these moments when the unexpected comes crashing into an ordinary day without warning, it’s good for us to be a little closer to that ledge of the unknown. It helps us realize for just a brief period of time just how not in control of our lives that we really are, and how wonderful it is to have a good, trustworthy God.
Mary wasn’t crying into her bed of hay at the end of her first day with Jesus in her arms. Even though she was probably shocked by how His birthday turned out, she treasured the wondrous things God had done, and she trusted Him with the very unknown future that sprawled out before her. I think the more we face the mysteries of life with a heart tuned to our Savior, the more we can cherish the good in what He is doing. It helps if angels show up and explain what’s happening. But since we aren’t likely to see any today, isn’t it good to know that we have a good God who commands armies of angels, who preserves His word, who loves us and works things out for good?
I hope that as the mystery of my son’s life unfolds, he’ll come to know Jesus a little more with every unexpected turn. Everytime he asks, What does this mean? What is God trying to teach me? Why? I hope the answer that he hears in his spirit is: He loves me. I pray that he and I both learn to ponder these things in our hearts like Mary did, treasuring the purposes of all that God has in store. He sees what we can’t, knows what we don’t, and perfectly understands what we need. He determines our steps, and the most comforting truth is that what is unknown to us is known to Him. He’s got everything under control. That’s a truth to treasure.
I love hearing from you!