Chad and I hung out for the first time when the Dallas Cowboys were in the Superbowl back in 1995. I showed up at his apartment with a bunch of other people, and I wore a Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt that I literally grabbed out of the back of my grandmother’s closet a few years earlier. I still maintain the sweatshirt is one of the reasons that he liked me, despite the fact that it technically belonged to a grandma.
I’m a stressed sports viewer. I tend to worry about everyone, including the players’ mothers, the coaches, the refs, and especially the players. I am firmly in the “I just hope everyone has fun and doesn’t get too disappointed” camp most of the time, but every once in a great while, I get really fired up about a game, and the Dallas Cowboys in the Superbowl is one of those times. What Chad and I didn’t realize at that first meeting was how many years that we would be sitting in stands watching our own children attempt sports. That’s the funny thing about life. I never knew that I would get more worked up about seventh grade football than a championship NFL game, but that’s exactly what happened. Suddenly, our sweet son was thrown into the world of contact sports, getting clobbered every play, looking for reassurance and correction from these new authority figures in his life: his coaches.
The thing about coaches is that they have a special place in a kid’s heart, whether you’re a kid playing little league or a kid playing college football or a big kid playing in the NBA. Coaches just have a particular infuence over their players, and they’re in a unique position to show them what it means to be a competitor, to play with integity and grit and honor, to lose graciously, to work impossibly hard. I’m thankful for coaches and for all that they’ve taught our kids through the years and continue to teach them to this day. Coaches are in a position to teach kids so much more than how to play a game. Many kids look to their coaches to learn how to be people. And maybe this is the most difficult thing about being a coach: whether you want the responsibility or not, you are an example to your team. I’m thankful that our kids have had great coaches to look up to.
One strange truth of the sporting world outside of our small-town bubble is that coaches at all levels seem to be given a free pass to behave badly. In fact, coaches can make quite a name for themselves by showing lots of sideline emotion, especially anger. Chad was in law school at Texas Tech during the Bobby Knight years. Let’s face it, we were all there to watch Coach Knight as much as we were to watch any of the players. He would pace up and down the court, ready to explode in anger at any moment. He threw clipboards, chairs, and cursed in kids’ faces, and for the most part it was all considered a colorful part of the experience. And it was. It made for great sports viewing, and it can never be denied that he was a winning coach. His record excused a lot of his antics. He was probably a great guy, but when it came to his work and his passion, he couldn’t control his emotions. I suppose there are plenty of varying opinions about what that meant for his players, but one thing I know: he wasn’t showing them how to be self-controlled men.
Lest you think I am picking on Coach Knight, we have all seen this type of behavior on our TV already in the past few weeks with college football kicking off again. I have watched respected coaches shout all kinds of obscenities on the sidelines and throw down their headsets. For some strange reason, coaches are expected to behave this way on the sidelines. When they are approached for an interview, they are suddenly professional and reasonable again, but when they are in the thick of coaching, we excuse the ways that they lose control of themselves. We even support it and look forward to it.
It dawned on me as I watched all of this unfold on Saturday afternoon what a difficult environment this must be for coaches who want to honor God. Christian coaches go to work every day in a profession where bad behavior is often expected and even encouraged. How does a coach who loves Jesus glorify God in such highly emotional surroundings where self-controlled behavior is low priority?
If you are a Christian coach, I want to encourage you. God would not have called you to become a coach if it’s impossible to do it in a godly way. Fans, parents, and pundits may expect that you will use foul language and lose control of your emotions during intense sports moments. But you have a God-given opportunity to shape young hearts by living for Christ on and off the field. Allow the Spirit of God to permeate your attitudes and actions. Trust that through the power of the Holy Spirit you can honor God even courtside, even in the middle of an intense drive down the field, even when a player is testing every ounce of patience that you have left. Coach with passion and self-control, with tough workouts, strong life lessons, love, and mercy. Ask God to help you keep temporal things and eternal things in the proper perspective.
Church, Christian coaches need support. Will you find a Christian coach and encourage him or her to be led by faith on and off the field? Will you pray for coaches? It would be amazing to see a revival begin in locker rooms all across the country. It starts with our leaders. Christian coaches, this world needs you. Shine a light for Jesus, be led by the Spirit, and channel your passion for the kingdom. We admire you more than you know.
I love hearing from you!