1. Feign shock when artwork is found in the trash.
2. Blow on boo boos.
3. Use “you’re a big boy” and “you’re too little” as it suits the situation.
4. Say, “Because I said so,” and believe it.
5. Hide the chocolate.
6. Vacuum stray Legos.
7. Cheer the loudest when they’re playing the worst.
8. Answer hard questions with “Ask your daddy.”
9. When making to-do lists, include at least two things that are already done.
10. Camp inside.
11. Forgive the mean kids.
12. Buy Velcro shoes for as long as possible.
13. Goldfish crackers.
14. Go ahead with the funeral for the hamster.
15. Watch kid movies and quote them often.
16. Read one sentence per page. They won’t know for years.
17. Turn off the TV.
18. Embrace hand-me-downs.
19. Laugh. A lot.
20. When all else fails, nap. If naptime fails, refer to #13.